"It wasn't until I went for an ultrasound, when I was five months pregnant, that I knew everything had gone wrong," says Goring. "After the ultrasound, I first thought I was just going to have a sick baby but he would be fine. All I was told was that his brain had developed but he had lots of blood flow to the brain. I was also told to come back the next day with my husband.
When I returned the next day, I found out that my son didn't have a heartbeat and they were going to induce my labor. I think the doctor didn't tell me that first day because I had my son with me - not my husband.
I delivered Jake October 31, 2001. I went into a deep depression, much worse than I ever was. I never did hear back from my doctor. I don't blame him though - they weren't told about the side effects of SSRIs either.
About one year later when I was pregnant with my daughter, I went to the same office for an ultrasound and at that time I found out that my treating doctor - the specialist in charge of reading Jake's ultrasound - had passed away. (I had a son before Jake and a daughter after. I was not taking Paxil during either time I was pregnant with them and they are both healthy.) Another specialist took over and she told me the results from Jake's ultrasound. I remember her telling me that he had club feet and something about blood to his brain but I didn't want to hear it at that time. And she didn't mention any causes.
About one month ago, I was talking to some friends that knew I was on Paxil during my pregnancy. They told me about the lawsuits against the makers of Paxil - the dangers of Paxil and pregnancy. I had mixed feelings: I was shocked when I went online and saw how many people were affected; how many babies had birth defects, and some had died. On the one hand I felt relieved, knowing I am not alone and there is a reason for his death. On the other hand, Jake's death could have been prevented.
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To the makers of Paxil, I want to say this: do more testing and be certain there are no side effects before putting drugs out to the public. I think the drug makers are negligent; I would like to see it mandatory that proper testing is done before medications are marketed so nobody else has to suffer. Losing my son was devastating.
Every October 31, I bring out his little urn with his ashes and some other things -a little hat, a bible and his baptismal papers. And his death certificate.