"After my divorce I moved with my son to a 'safe state', Florida. Robbie followed me there so I had to get a domestic violence protective order and he wasn't allowed within 5 miles of us. He did try to contact me by email and phone on holidays, which I logged and reported to the local police but it wasn't considered severe enough for an investigation."
"For six years in Florida I was happy. I'd gotten married and was living the typical life of barbecues on Sunday and PTA. But stress from the aftermath of that previous abusive marriage and living in constant fear made things difficult and my new husband and I separated. In October 2003, with my family in Texas I figured we'd be all right there for a couple months but that was a fatal mistake."
It didn't take long for Mary's ex-husband to catch up with his prey."Just after the holiday season I reported his stalking behavior and calls to the police department of a suburb of Dallas/Fort Worth. On at least eight occasions they said, 'oh that's a Florida order, we're not going to uphold that in Texas'."
"Getting away with minor violations made Robbie bolder. He conspired with my mother to take my son away from me, even though he wasn't his biological father. Together they made allegations against me of mental and emotional abuse, of drug use, and they even claimed I was in a baby-killing cult. When my son was born I cleaned up my life and stopped any drug use. CPS did four different tests and found nothing at all so in mid 2004 I was cleared of all charges of neglect and abuse."
Mary and her son prepared to move back to the safety of Florida. Their nightmare was over... or so they thought.
"In May 2004 my son went to church and never came home. He was abducted. When I reported it the police, they and a CPS agent showed up at my door, not to give me news, but to get me to sign another accusation of abuse from my ex-husband and my mother. I refused. My attorney tabled a motion to have my son immediately released to me but on day the court order was signed, the police came and took me to a mental hospital for 'observation' based on a false affidavit."
"The doctor couldn't find any reason to detain me but during that 24 hours I was in that hospital Robbie, GrandMommy, the police officer and a CPS worker broke into my apartment and stole over $10,000 worth of property including all my home videos and photos of me and my kids, all my legal files and evidence, electronics, medication and even my wedding ring. Even our dog was gone."
Mary's son was placed in a foster home.
"Parents have to do something like take parenting classes, go to rehab or counseling to have a chance at getting their kid back. I did but they said I didn't complete their services just because I chose to get my own counselor, not the one of their choice. They called me uncooperative if I did anything that was against my civil rights but even though one of the case workers wrote that my case wasn't of abuse but of child custody they do retaliate, I hate to say. They ruled against me because I challenged when I knew things weren't being looked into, like my accusation of Robbie molesting children."
"The last time I saw my son was just before Christmas 2004. The case worker arrived without him and said, 'we forgot to bring him'. But that wasn't possible. He's nine years old and he knows when it's Tuesday. The next day, December 22nd, they brought him. He had a black eye, blood on his shirt; he'd been beaten. I never saw him again.
That's when I started my blog almosttuesdays.com which came out of a poem I was commissioned to write for Child Abuse Awareness month. It was all the things my son had said to me during out visits that we shared that no one else knows about."
"When I realized he wasn't coming home I fell apart. I was in such shock. I didn't have an attorney so I represented myself. Fortunately I'm a paralegal so I could write my own pleadings but they were just ignored. My son's name was changed, he lives with GrandMommy and I'm not allowed to talk to him. Then Robbie was jailed in 2006 for child abuse. I'm too tired to fight. How do you find an attorney when those hired by the state to work on behalf of the kids say it's too hard to go up against the system?"
READER COMMENTS
Heavenly
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All of you are brave and strong and should continue to speak out! Even if you are no longer in control of the situation, because not only are we relating with the pain of an abusive ex, were also saving other woman from making the mistakes we made and to avoid future mistakes.
I never knew how deep the love of having a child is until I had my baby boy. I was almost numb in life. I cared about helping needy people but my empathy level was low due to repeated abuse and b My son brought feelings back i thought were long gone. God gave him to me as a gift. I love being his mom. I think I could litteraly physically die of a broken heart if they tried to take him. I would only be living to get him back.
I pray that none of us will ever end up with another abuser and that one day we can all be happy with our loved ones and free of any pain or attachments of the struggle. God.. Father of the heaven and earth has control and never loses it. His purpose is always good. Sometimes the paths he set will get dark but there will always be light at the end. We have to accept jesus as our savior, obey God and beleive with all your heart Jesus is his only begotten son. God is understanding and forgiving. He can change everything and give you happiness while waiting for your blessings. Turn to the lord.
Because of you amazing strong loving moms you encouraged me and also taught me somethings to look out for. Keep speaking out! Even if you help only one person your making a huge change. Your all loved by our creator. Dont give up!! Keep fighting for your kids!!! God brings justice and makes wrongs right!
Emma Mason
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Cari
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Aninymos
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I weep for all of you. I understand exactly way it feels like to know anyone that has the ability to help dismisses all logic to aid in a game of Chicken Little, waving his arms like he's on fire. In the end, all that's left is tiny glimmer that karma make it true.
I was a stay at home mom. I gave up my career to be at home with them after two of them nearly died from unrelated illness in the same year. I did everything for them. I wasn't perfect, but I did my best without a handbook, friends or family. I was pretty isolated and alone, which kept me from opening my eyes at that time.
My ex is a cop. He befriended Cps, using them to jointly raise allegations and illegal tactics to prevent the basic human right for me to parent my kids. He knows the judges, counsellors, everyone. I never had a chance, as his plan was laid out long before any feelings of something not being right started.
He kept my kids, moving in secret, preventing contact, and created a backdrop of someone that is nothing like me in the minds of anyone with influence. He abandoned me in an a city 4 hours away, tricking me by calling it a time out but was positive, encouraging Even leaving I love you notes in my small suitcase.
One month later I received a text message stating I wouldn't be coming back. He wanted a divorce. He left me 4 hours away. He managed to abandon me with the only person I knew in Texas. It was my mom, who was abusive my entire childhood. That lasted a couple months, during which time I was removed from all accounts, assets, insurance policies etc. without a divorce even pending.
Saddest of all, is that the day he took me to my mothers, I put my kids in the bus like usual. We had explained the time out and that it was going to be a good thing. I said I'd be back before they knew it. But little did I know, I was inevitably lying to them but didn't have a clue as to what his plan was that forced that lie. I often ask if it really counted as lying to them, one of many things he tried to say happened.
My youngest child was 4 months old.
He's allowed me to spend a total of about 40 hours with them spear out over three years of visits. I drive 7 hours for MAYBE 2 hours time with them, as he sits and supervises with intimidation.
i naively thought my faith and belief in God could never waiver a bit, as no test was great enough to question my belief. Now, I have seen the reaches of a mere human who was evil enough to erase any imprint in my mind that God exists. He was my husband and best friend who became a cop and lost every ounce of humanity, compassion and the honesty he once possessed as his best attribute is now a scattering of ash in his empty soul.
I miss my kids so much. It's not over though. I was served 4 days ago and now he wants me to only have supervised time until all are 18. I didn't have it in the original order, but he never obeyed it and has always imposed his own supervision. It has affected the kids, who pick up on his projected false concerns and even they alienate me now.
And now, I too stand with a group of you underneath a painful sign labeled "no reason to breath anymore". I have no more strength to endure this next barrage of lies from a crooked cop who was hiding his affair with a dispatcher at the expense of my relationship with my children, severing the bond that nature knows and has clearly shown to be for the best interest of offspring. The bond between moms and their kids.
Angela S
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Cordale
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Petra
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Gia
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Now, I'm not against fathers what so ever. And these groups might have started out with good intentions regarding children in the midst of divorce. That's who is the most important person to consider.
With the States like Texas and Louisiana. There is a misogynist movement. Its so bad that in Texas a lobbyist trying to pass a bill for Family Law gave it a pretty name, turning legal words meant to change the future of children in all divorce cases. Was so upset the bill did not pass because a female family lawyer knew exactly what this create and was able to have it struck down.
The M.R.A. he is associated with started a campaign against her by making comments on articles regarding the bill, stalking her via the internet.
These men do not have any good intentions for their children. They are generally abusers with a higher income than the ex wife.
The gammit is a punishment.
When it comes down to splitting community property. If no prenup is established they strike up a CPS complaint. Now, the attorneys have them move all money out the accounts, change the locks on the doors. And mother is served at the front door for alleged abuses and not allowed back.
The games are tactical. But in my opinion. These lawyers who have Super lawyer listings are just dirty lawyer's using the child to benefit their client.
In Texas alone there are thousands of these cases. The mother is accused of P.A.S. and the judge (even if the father has a record of molesting the child) gives mother 2 hours supervised visits a week at $150 an hour.
I'm one.
After 7 years of pure hell with losing my daughter, hone, all belongings, my name, my family, my car.
Holidays, birthdays, school.
I now suffer with a major depressive disorder. A mental break after years of fighting to see a child who was being abused by her father.
I have no answers.
The pain for me has stopped my interest in life.
These court proceedings are crooked and cruel.
And NO ONE will do a thing
Moonlight
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If you are please look up the Facebook page Texas Non Custodial Mothers.
jenna
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Amy Baize
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mary tyndall
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hannah noel
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Linda
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Leslie Grover
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