Financial Elder Abuse: Children Victimizing Their Parents

Carlsbad, CAWhen your parents reach their senior years, you probably expect that your family members will help you to take care of your parents—not make them victims of financial elder abuse. However, children can, and do, take advantage of their elderly parents for their own financial gain. Sophia P. (not her real name) says that her sister went behind her back to have their parents' trust changed, leaving Sophia out of the trust entirely.

"My mom and dad had a trust made in 1999," Sophia says. "Then my mom got Alzheimer's. There are 3 sisters—I'm the oldest and I took care of my parents for 25 years. I brought them and one sister into this country.

"My husband had a heart attack and I got busy with taking him in and out of the hospital. At the time, my father was over 80 and he was someone who would do anything to make people happy. My sister took him to an attorney and had him revoke the trust, which had been divided 3 ways. My mother had passed away and my sister said I couldn't go to see my dad—I wasn't allowed to see him at all. His neighbors said they saw him alone at his house, falling out of his wheelchair—they would go over to help him—so my sister did not take good care of my dad. He actually died alone.

"When he passed on, my sister didn't call me. An aunt called me about it, so I was really hurt. And then, finding out that he had signed a new trust that said I had already been compensated, which was not true, hurt me. The new trust said everything was to be divided between my 2 sisters.

"We [Sophia and her husband] helped my parents manage their finances and build them up. My husband had them set up with a stock account and mutual funds so they would collect interest. I put my father to work in my store and put him on social security. My sisters saw money and figured they would kick me out of the trust."

Sophia says at one point she spoke with her father about his financial situation and he told her that her sister said she would not take care of him unless he signed the new papers. He also said that he was told Sophia did not need any money because she had a business and was fine, financially.

"My mother had jewelry, but I didn't get any of that," Sophia says. "My sister took everything. It was not my mom's wishes and deep down, it was probably not my dad's wishes, either. He was probably overwhelmed by everything and just signed along.

"There was a checking account that I had my name on and my sister closed that without telling me. My dad never got his mail—I asked him how his accounts were doing and he said he didn't know because my sister was taking care of everything.

"I get very emotional and upset because of my hurt feelings. I was the oldest and I took care of my siblings, but they saw the money. One of my sisters lives in Germany—she doesn't need the money either, she's wealthier than I am, but if she had not been so greedy, I would probably have told her to take the majority of it."

Sophia's father passed away in March 2008. She says that the trust included her parents' house, life insurance and stock accounts, totaling approximately $1.5 million.

"They [her siblings] went behind my back," Sophia says. "It was important for me to be there for my husband [following his heart attack] and run the business, so I couldn't check on my dad. If I had known better, I would have done everything differently."