6 Worst Getaway Plans of the Week

May 2nd, 2011. By LucyC

Shoulda Gone with the Skinny Jeans…There’s a reason burglars wear tight-fitting clothing. A would-be convenience store robber in Florida was recently brought down by his own trousers. Talk about wardrobe malfunction.

Apparently he had just shoplifted two cases of beer from a convenience store in Lake Wales, FL, and was running across the parking lot when he tripped and fell-doing a face plant and losing his pants at the same time. Well, we all know how difficult it can be to find your feet in that type of a situation. But find his feet he did, and he eventually made it to his car, which, by the way, didn’t have a licence plate. As he took off in his clearly distinguishable Chevy Malibu, leaking cans of Bud Lite could be seen escaping from it. Talk about drama! Apparently the video of the crime is a bit of a hit with the Polk County Sheriff’s office. 

Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire—the direct line of fire that is. This would-be bully couldn’t have had worse luck. A man in Joliet, IL, was fleeing the scene of a crime only to run straight into a police convention.

No kidding. The man was trying to escape police who were after him because his girlfriend claimed he had punched her. He fled, on foot, into a nearby park where some 30 Joliet police officers were attending a seminar on “being prepared for any situation.” 

You have to love the serendipity.

Take me to your Leader…err, Owner? Here’s another eerie tale of serendipity. A man in Lincoln, Nebraska was attempting to steal a one of a kind car stereo but didn’t make out so well. After he liberated the stereo from the rightful owner’s car, he went to a sound shop to buy equipment needed to install the stereo system in his own car.

But—you knew there had to be a “but.” But, the man who managed the store was the owner of the sound system. Bingo—you’re busted! 

This fellow was arrested for larceny—even though he returned the lawn mower. Go figure. 

Early Mother’s Day Gift? A resident of East Lyme, CT, allegedly stole a lawn mower from the local school, while drunk, at night, then drove three miles to his mother’s house and cut her lawn, as one does. 

Apparently he returned the mower at some point after his episode of midnight mowing madness, but he was captured on video—and consequently arrested. 

Hmm, let’s see, it’s dark, he’s drunk, you gotta wonder what the lawn looked like when he’d finished. 

And then Goldilocks showed up…As for this guy in Fredericksburg, VA, despite being caught in a pre-school, presumably in the evening, drunk, bleeding from cuts and surrounded by broken glass from a nearby window—he denies all wrong-doing—stating emphatically that the bear did it. 

Police caught him because they responded to a burglar alarm at the pre-school. Surprisingly, they didn’t believe his story, which went something along the lines of the reason he was bleeding was because he was attacked by a bear near his house. Wonder what the bear looked like.

Simply put, he’s Bus-ted. (Bad one, I know). And finally, a man in Tampa, FL, was recently arrested for handing out stolen cash on a bus. Nice gesture, but since the cash had come from a nearby Wachovia Bank branch, which he had just robbed, and then hopped on a local bus, the warm fuzzy factor is somewhat diminished.

This was posted on Monday, May 2nd, 2011 at 4:23 pm and is filed under Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.