Now that’s Tortelicious! A few gems on the docket…

January 20th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre lawsuits making news. Goodness knows there’s no shortage of them. 

Education the new Defective Product? Last week the LA Times reported that several minors who are currently incarcerated by the Los Angeles County Probation Department have sued their teachers at an LA country probation camp for routinely missing class, punishing students who ask for help with their lessons, and awarding a high school diploma to boy who is illiterate. I had to read the article twice to make sure I was getting this straight—the teachers are being sued for missing classes? I realize it’s been a while since I went to school, but I don’t think myself and my compatriots would have complained had our teachers not shown up for lessons. In fact I know we would have been delighted!

However, while I might make light of this, because it is quite ironic, it seems that these kids really want an education, no matter how low the standards. After all, it’s their best ticket out. And this is what makes it so tragic. According to an investigation by the attorneys representing the plaintiffs, 95 percent of the 650 students at the Challenger Probation Camp—the scene of the crime so to speak—have consistently scored below proficiency on state exams. So these kids have taken matters into their own hands. I wonder what the punishment is for teachers skipping class?

Exotic Dancers Give Grammar Lessons? In the spirit of the carefully phrased “I did not have relations with that woman”, a grammatical technicality is at the forefront of a prostitution lawsuit in New York. Something must be in the air because this is thethird or fourth lawsuit this month that’s dealt with things related to strip clubs. This one involves Big Daddy Lou’s Hot Lap Dance Club (seriously) on W. 38th St. in NYC. Seems two dancers were brought up on charges that they “did engage, offer andagree” to acts of prostitution with an undercover officer at the club. Ahh, but that charge is quite a bit different from the way the it’s worded in NY state penal code: “did engage, offer or agree”.

So a teeny, tiny 3-letter conjunction is at the forefront of a lawsuit that could translate into 90-day jail sentences for the two ladies involved. The issue is that neither of the women were ever accused of actually engaging in any sex act with the officer—they’ve only been accused of offering him a threesome for $5k. So if the charge is worded as is, well then, sounds like case dismissed, no? Well, maybe not so fast. According to a report in today’s NY Post, Manhattan Criminal Court Judge, ShawnDya Simpson, is to research the issue and give her decision today.

Weight Watchers sings “Jenny, I’ve got your Number”? Also on a lighter note—no pun intended—Weight Watchers is suing Jenny Craigover claims that Jenny’s weight loss program is better than WWs. According to a report on Bloomberg, the suit stems from a TV ad Jenny is running which has Valerie Bertinelli in a lab coat (did Valerie become a doctor?) saying that a major clinical trial shows that “Jenny Craig clients lost, on average, over twice as much weight as those on the largest weight-loss program,” meaning WW. 

WW says the claims are false and that Jenny did not conduct a major clinical trial. A point which, personally, I am inclined to believe. First off, how on earth would you conduct such a trial? Would Jenny have study recruiters lurking outside churches and community centers during WW meetings, in an effort to entice people into the trial? (“Psst, wanna join a clinical trial?”) And let’s just say Jenny was successful at getting two groups of people to participate—one on WW and the other Jenny’s food—how could you trust the results? Who monitored the WW folks, or did they just surreptitiously slip their weight cards to the Jenny recruiters waiting in the bushes? (Yes, I’ve done WW). 

Which brings me to my last question—how did Jenny measure success? The TV ad claims that people on Jenny’s program lost twice as much weight as people on WW? But did they keep it off? Oops, sorry, that’s probably not the point. 

But at the end of the day, it is. From my experience, losing weight is as much about will power as it is about lasagna and legumes, and that’s the critical factor that can’t be measure in a ‘clinical trial,’ and ironically, the very thing that makes both programs so successful.  

Tags: Challenger Probation Camp, Jenny Craig, LA County Probation, Weight Watchers

This was posted on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 2:15 pm and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.