Tortelicious: God’s Handiwork, the HVAC Trap & Onion Rings

April 20th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news. Goodness knows there’s no shortage of them. 

It’s a blooming shame, but a couple in Texas have had to scale back their wild floral tribute to their home state, under threat of legal action by their local homeowners’ association.

Apparently, Eddie and Melissa Smith’s bluebonnets are colonizing the neighborhood greenspace, unprompted, and threatening the “aesthetic harmony” of the subdivision. Umm.

Five years ago the couple planted three—yes three—bluebonnet plants purchased from the local home improvement store. Over the five years the flowers have, in their bid for subdivision domination, spread throughout the Smith’s entire lawn, jumped the sidewalk to the curb, and successfully covered through the corner lot, all without prompting, the Smith’s claim. No fertilizer, no extra water. Just some highly motivated plants. And, as Mrs. Smith notes, “It was God’s handiwork.”

Apparently, the Ridgeview Park Homeowners Association demanded the Smiths mow the bluebonnets and re-sod the front lawn, the Dallas Morning News reported. The Smith’s even received a certified letter from the association via a Dallas law office, requiring that they conform to the “aesthetic harmony” of the subdivision. ( I think they meant that their plants conform…)

Thankfully, a compromise was reached just in the nick of time, enabling the Smiths to keep their wildflowers, but only in contained flowerbeds… Isn’t that some sort of oxymoron?  

Creative or just plain stupid? A 20-year old who was attempting to rob a BP convenience store in North East, MD last week, was found dangling from the ventilation system at the back of the facility by the employee who was opening up. When the police arrived, the robber-apprentice, let’s call him, said that he was playing a game of hide and seek—on the roof—and that his friends couldn’t figure out where he was and called off the ‘seek,’ and went home. 

Would you believe this story? 

Maybe from your five-year old? 

The real version, according to the deputies who rescued the man, involved the robber-apprentice removing the cover to the ventilation system, crawling through the vent, accidentally setting off a fire extinguisher which then sprayed powder all over the store, and that’s when he got stuck. Good timing.

Maybe he should stick to board games in the future.

It’s 9 A.M. Do you know where your Croissan’wich® is? Continuing on with the robbery theme—it’s popular right now…How many times have you been in a restaurant and not been able to get what you really desired? A Michigan man tried to rob a Burger King early one morning—8:50 am to be precise. He walked into the restaurant, flashed his gun in front of the clerk behind the counter, and demanded cash. So far so good?…No. 

The clerk couldn’t open the till without a food order. The register just wouldn’t open. So the robber tried to place an order for onion rings, only to find out that they weren’t available that early in the morning. What—this guy doesn’t eat eggs? 

The robber gave up in frustration, and left. Maybe he went to McDonalds.

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 at 1:54 pm and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.