Couldn’t Have Been the Chalupa: In a Slump at Taco Bell

June 22nd, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.  

Continuing on with our Drive-thru theme from last week—but sadly no food fights to report this week. Instead, a rather sad tale of a woman who passed out in a Tennessee Taco Bell drive-thru. 

Was it slow service or a really tired menu? (bad, I know). 

Well, neither, as it turns out. The police were called out, presumably by a Taco Bell employee, when the 34-year old woman was found slumped over the wheel of her car with the engine running. Yup, that would certainly warrant some attention. 

The police found several open cases of beer and pill bottles in her car. Always a winning combination, not guaranteed to get you through your day in the best of shape. 

Now there were also two passengers in the car, who presumably were in similar shape, since no one offered to take the wheel. All three were arrested—the woman driving for DUI—and her two passengers for being in possession of pills for which they did not have prescriptions. Some Mother’s Little Helpers—perhaps? 

Well, whatever you want to say about working in a fast food joint—it certainly doesn’t seem dull…

Just not feeling the love at the nudist colony. Seems kind of strange that someone would be concerned with towels at a nudist colony, but that’s precisely what happened here. Here being the Lake O’ the Woods Camp nudist colony in Indiana.

Now, while I’ve never actually been to a nudist camp, I always got the sense that love and peace and harmony were part and parcel of communing in one’s most natural state. Matter of fact, Lake O’ the Woods seems quite fond of the tagline, “Welcome all ye who seek sunshine and rest for here they are abundant.” Not exactly a what one perceives as a magnet for those with anger management issues. Unless, of course, you’re this guy.

James Schodtler, a 61-year old retired Chicago police officer and apparent “social nudist”, was at Lake O’ the Woods where he must’ve claimed his spot poolside by marking the territory (i.e., deck chairs) with towels. But then he walked away. You and I both know that leaving a poolside chair unattended is risky business at best—particularly if there’s a crowd. But leave he did, and upon his return, guess what? Towels were gone.

But it was the 66-year old (and female) volunteer “gatekeeper” who had removed the towels. And Schodtler was none too pleased. So he pointed at the gatekeeper and told her not to touch his stuff. Hey, thems there are clearly fightin’ words so the gatekeeper got her dander up and—according to what Schodtler told police—poked Schodtler in the chest, telling him she wasn’t afraid of him.

I don’t know if it was an attempt at ego restoration after being humiliated by a probable AARP-card wielding pool gatekeeper—and female no less—but Schodtler then pushed her in the chest, causing her to fall backward and hit her head on the pavement. (Quite a visual when you remember they’re naked here.)

I’m guessing when the Porter County Sheriff’s Police arrived, they kept their clothes on.

And then there’s the guy with too much energy when he drinks. This fellow tried to break in a tractor-trailer—bronco style—in a dare from his friends (friends?)—and rode the thing for 10 miles before he was spotted clinging to the back of the rig for dear life by police in Sabrina, OH. Needless to say they pulled the truck over and got the whole sorry mess sorted out.

I seems that 24-year old Brandon Farmer, in a moment of clarity (a rare occurrence, I’m going to assume) apparently called 911 on his cell phone, after successfully landing on the rig, realizing that perhaps this hadn’t been one of his smarter decisions. The driver totally unaware of his additional cargo. 

I’m willing to bet the stuff this guy was drinking was not what the woman in Taco Bell had imbibed. The police charged Farmer with disorderly conduct. 

I think there should be a charge for insane conduct.

Tags: Tortelicious

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