She Kicks, He Scores…at the Strip Club (it’s Tortelicious)

October 19th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them. 

Talk about getting some booty. A man in Florida who alleges he was injured at a strip club in West Palm Beach when an exotic dancer kicked him in the face, has been awarded a $650,000 settlement.

Michael Ireland received the out-of-court settlement after claiming he suffered a punctured eye socket, broken facial bones and permanent double vision as a result of getting booted in the face by a dancer named “Suki.”

Suki’s side of the story, however, is slightly different. Cheetah (yes—that’s the name of the establishment) boss Rod Kimbrough, said last year that the dancer in question is a “very nice, young small girl” who only kicked Ireland because she had been smacked first. This according to MyFoxOrlando.com. (btw, you can see earlier news coverage of the mess here on this video…)

“A patron violently slapped the young woman on her buttocks and she was walking around the top of the bar and I guess out of a natural response she turned around and kicked him,” Kimbrough said. 

As kicking patrons, to my limited knowledge I will emphasize here, is likely not considered the best way to entice customers into spending their money, I think something likely happened to prompt that action. Perhaps it was all in a night’s work? 

Wheee! Let’s Ride the [Baggage] Carousel! Many’s the time I’ve thought of doing this—not for the fun of it—but to try and expedite reunion with my luggage. Good thing I never actually tried it—riding on an airport luggage carousel or conveyor belt, that is. 

However, 40-year old Bradley Ray Bromelow did not, apparently, give the idea a second thought, and he is now facing charges of trespassing into a secured area at Miami airport where signs are posted.

And just to make sure he wouldn’t forget the occasion—Bradley filmed people watching him as he moved on the conveyor belt. Well, that would certainly reduce the boredom factor at luggage collection. Wonder how sniffer dogs would handle that one. 

Bradley, it should be noted, is from Alpharetta, Georgia, where it’s possible the opportunity to ride a luggage carousel may be quite limited, and not terribly exciting. Miami International luggage carousels, by comparison, would be many, with far more tempting journeys into the dark side. 

In any event, Bradley’s decision landed him in jail, briefly. He was taken away Thursday and released on bail Friday morning. Now, the Transportation Security Administration has to figure out what to do about the situation. Be interesting to see if any new signs go up—”This carousel/conveyor belt is for luggage only—the inanimate kind.” 

Well, she certainly had the right class. But maybe she needs a bit of private tutoring to get up to speed, first.  Nineteen-year old Faribah Maradiaga, who seems to have a bit of an “anger management” problem, is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail in Seattle, Washington, for stabbing a classmate while attending a court-ordered anger management class. 

According to the local police, Maradiaga was attending the class as a result of an earlier assault charge. She got into a verbal dispute with another woman and the whole thing turned physical. Maradiaga apparently lost her temper (did she ever have control of it?) when she complained about a video and the other woman suggested she “give it a chance.” So Maradiaga pulled a 3 inch knife in response. 

How do you get into anger management class with a knife?

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, October 19th, 2010 at 9:14 am and is filed under Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.