Never thought “Chuck E. Cheese’s” and “Gambling Addiction” would live in the same sentence—or headline—but this, I believe, is what happens when someone who claims, in court documents, to have taken her children (ages 3 and 5) to Chuck E. Cheese’s numerous—got that? NUMEROUS—times finally wakes up and realizes what a fool she’s been, and subsequently, what to do? Many of us would just lay low for a while by sitting a sort of self-imposed shiva-for-shame (with all due respect for those of the Jewish faith out there)—you know, cancel a few playdates, that sort of thing. Not so Denise Keller. Her way to deal with self-loathing and mortification? Sue the source of it all: Chuck E. Cheese’s of course. So here we are…
The Defendant: Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurants (I use the term loosely—they do serve food).
The Allegations: Some of the games at Chuck E. Cheese’s are actually illegal gambling devices and could foster addictive behavior in children. (At least that’s what Denise Keller, a mom and local real estate agent from San Diego, who’s sued CEC Entertainment—owners of Chuck E. Cheese’s—thinks.)
The Questions: As a mom—and one who’s been to a Chuck E. Cheese’s birthday party or two—I have some questions about this lawsuit. Particularly if I’m going to need to line up some psych assessments for my kids in about fifteen years—was Chuck E. Cheese’s the root of all evil in their lives?
See, it’s not like there’s been a causal relationship established between Chuck E. Cheese’s and gambling compulsion—like with Mirapex. And even though I was not a proponent of the Kill the Happy Meal lawsuit, I get it. There’s real harm if a lax parent feeds a child a steady diet of Happy Meals. So I’ve got some serious questions—8 of ’em for Ms. Keller regarding this lawsuit. Here they are:
1. How often do you take your kid to Chuck E. Cheese’s?
Please define “numerous”. My kids have gotten several birthday invitations for parties there. We’ve gone to two. One would’ve been enough. And for damn sure it wouldn’t have been because of any fear of gambling addiction.
2. How long do you stay at Chuck E. Cheese when you go?
Most birthday parties are in the 2-hour range. Two hours would not seem to be enough to create an addiction. And the guilt-driven affirmative RSVP to a birthday party is truly the only reason to set foot in a CEC.
3. Where is your child getting the money to pay for Chuck E. Cheese tokens?
If you’re your child’s Chuck E. Cheese ATM, then guess what? You’re the one feeding, creating and abetting the “addiction”.
4. You know they serve beer at Chuck E. Cheese’s, right?
And with good reason. Most parents are primed for a mug or two by the time the big rat comes out on stage. Particularly if the rat scares the crap out of your kid, as it did with mine. Forget gambling addiction, my child will need years of therapy to just be able to select The Tale of Despereaux on Netflix: c’mon sweetie, you can do it…hold the remote steady…steadeeee…
5. Isn’t gambling a game of chance—where you can also lose, and lose pretty big?
Chuck E. Cheese arcade games are not exactly games of chance. There’s more at risk when you pick up a “Chance” card in Monopoly. And it’s not like you can win big either—big for a child being a trip to Disney World with a DSi and an unlimited supply of Dunkin Munchkins for the ride. All that’s lost when a kid goes to Chuck E. Cheese’s is the cash mom or dad has laid out, along with mom or dad’s sanity. Gambling Nick the Greek style requires chance, and putting something at stake.
PS—My favorite quote from the filing is one that basically equates Chuck E. Cheese ‘gambling’ to hard-core visions of James Caan in “The Gambler”; it says that arcade games at Chuck E. Cheese’s “create the same highs and lows experienced by adults who gamble their paychecks or the mortgage payment.” (San Diego Union Tribune)
Trust me, it takes a lot more than some Skeeball spitting out a few tickets for my kids to experience that kind of a “high”.
6. Does your kid really have any long-term attachment to any Chuck E. Cheese prize “won”?
Unless I’m missing something, tickets that you can also purchase for 1¢ each can’t really be redeemed for much. When a few hundred tickets will net you a pack of gum and a whistle, well, if that’s incentive for your kid to go back and ‘try his luck’ again, here’s a tip: save what you spent at Chuck E. Cheese’s, give your kid $5 and head over to Five Below. Thank me later.
7. Are you also suing: boardwalk arcades, local carnivals, church Bingo nights, school 50-50 raffles, or Nintendo Wii?
Just asking. Seems if there’s a Chuck E. Cheese lawsuit, the finger can be pointed in a whole bunch of directions.
And lastly, and only because online gaming is big in legal circles right now…
8. Is there some Chuck E. Cheese’s online gaming site that the feds are looking to ‘take down’?
To be fair, there is the Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Blaster. Online. I just played it myself. And, while I suppose it could be addictive, it’s a pretty lame game all around and the risk is far greater that you’ll get carpal tunnel syndrome than any gambling addiction. Also, there’s some fine print: “One Free Ticket Reward print out can be redeemed per child per day.” Not exactly much incentive to gamble away—Box Tops, HGTV’s Dream Home, and a gazillion other online contests do the same once-a-day-only schtick for grown-ups. And have they made you hop in your car and hit the Atlantic City Expressway? Doubt it. And another thing, CEC Ticket Blaster is free—so no risk of losing anything either.
While I’m no fan of Chuck E. Cheese’s—I cannot misdirect my disdain for it; and, I realize that the place has its merits and there are those—adults and children alike—who enjoy the ambiance as well as the food. So my take on the gambling lawsuit bit is that it’s a crock of you know what.
I have some other questions too—maybe some not fit for print; but I’ll await any responses to these first. And if there’s anyone out there with a gambling addiction that’s been medically diagnosed and proven to stem from Chuck E. Cheese’s, hey—we’d love to interview you and your doctor!
I agree that a person who would file an "addiction" lawsuit against Chuck E Cheese is indeed a quack. Perhaps, the real motive here is to be a media whore and to get her name out there to promote her real estate endeavors.
This is the type of parent who fosters an entitlement and blame culture for their kids. She places 100% blame on others for her own failure as a parent to be responsible for teaching her own kids the virtues of responsibility, moderation, balance, and accountability. She is the type of person who sits up a night thinking opportunistic thoughts of fabricating some frivolous lawsuit for attention and money. I'm surprised she hasn't decided to target Frito Lay, candy and soda companies for creating an addiction for unhealthy foods for her children (because she obviously has no responsibility to teach them good eating habits). And as her children get older, she can prepare her cases against the video game companies and television networks, especially cartoon network, for creating addictions to time-wasting entertainment activities for her children.
What will stop these types of frivolous lawsuits would be if there is a screening layer added to our justice system….that weeds out obvious cases that amount to hogwash, and would otherwise end up wasting resources and taxpayer's resource and money. Better yet, screen up front and if the plaintiff decides to proceed, the plaintiff will be liable for all court costs, refunding jury duty members time off, and all other incidental costs. That will stop these people like Ms. Keller and her vermin attorney from filing these types of lawsuits.