Bare-Naked Bingo Weiner Bandit Video Released

February 22nd, 2011. By LucyC

Can’t hide that sausage! A man in Florida—34-year old Joshua Ryan Abernathy—decided to liberate some wieners and himself simultaneously. Freed of all encumbrances, specifically his clothing (and any limiting attitudes—or good taste) he walked, naked, into the Mariner’s Cove Club House in Estero, FL, on January 7, 2011. He apparently grabbed some napkins, a first aid kit and some wieners (thank God he remembered the napkins) and proceeded to walk around the clubhouse. Of course the whole thing (pardon the pun) was caught on surveillance video. But it wasn’t until the following day when an employee at the club noticed the sausages were missing—they were meant for Bingo Night (oh boy!) that the police were called.

The employee had watched the video and recognized the man…hmm…saying that he “possibly stays in a wooded area located west of Mariner’s Cove.” It just gets better.

Abernathy’s been charged with burglary and petty theft. This week, authorities released a censored version of that video (above), which has been posted on The News-Press website. I wonder if he could sue for the unauthorized use of his image…the payout might keep him in wieners for a while.

Dying wish? Sadly, this tale really does bring home the old adage, ‘be careful what you wish for’…Once again, we find ourselves in Florida where a man met his end while teasing his girlfriend to “go ahead and shoot me.” 

The couple was having a fight (no kidding) when 57-year old Robert Lee Gilbert dared his girlfriend to pull the trigger on her antique gun. Antique? Fully loaded and ready to go? Ah—maybe not. 

Poor old Robert—he must have been very persuasive because his girlfriend did what he asked—she pulled the trigger and blew his face off. He’s dead, and she’s facing manslaughter charges. Why does this stuff never happen on “The Antiques Road Show”? 

Is your dog your best friend? I’m betting this guy is rethinking the whole relationship thing with his dog right now. The man, who is nameless, apparently, was pulled over in his pickup with his dog by his side in Moro, Oregon recently.

Realizing this was probably not a good thing, the man—who had a sock full of marijuana and hashish—tried to hide the sock. But his dog—a pit bull mix—who just loves to play—recognized an opportunity when he saw one and grabbed the sock. Worse, he wouldn’t let go. Nothing like a good game of tug of war. Especially with a Sheriff’s deputy closing down on you.

Sgt. John Terrel said that the man told him that his dog, having won the tug of war, tossed the sock out the window—so there was no opportunity for a re-challenge. The 32-year-old driver was indicted on drug possession charges. Way to go Fido…

Guess he didn’t need a lift. As for this guy—well he should and probably did know better. But what the heck. He won’t face any charges for skiing uphill—which is against the resort rules! Well, in fairness, it wasn’t quite that simple.

Seventy-eight year old Roland Fleck of Jackson, Wyoming, and a retired doctor, was arrested and hauled off in handcuffs on a toboggan for refusing ski patrollers’ orders to stop skiing uphill. I do like his style.

Apparently, Jackson Hole Resort officials were concerned because of avalanche danger, and the presence of grooming machines that made it unsafe for Roland to be where he was and proceeding in the wrong direction, presumably to do more of whatever it was he was doing—skiing, perhaps?

The Jackson Hole News & Guide says Fleck was jailed on charges of trespassing, interference, unsafe skiing and theft of services. Unsafe skiing? Are you kidding?

Resort officials are not going to press charges because getting the old geezer off the slopes resolved the problem. Unless….it seems the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree after all because Fleck’s son who is an attorney, says his father did nothing wrong and the resort should change policies. I don’t know—I think they could be facing an uphill battle with that one.

And on that note…

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011 at 4:25 pm and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.