Blimpie’s, Seagram’s and the IKEA Kitchen: Tortelicious Goes Foodie

March 4th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre lawsuits making news. Goodness knows there’s no shortage of them.  

C’mon, You Call that Stacked?

So here’s a skill-testing question—when is not enough simply too much? 

The answer—when you’re not getting what you paid for. At least that’s how a couple of folks from Illinois see it, so they’re suing Blimpie.

Yes, Blimpie is being sued for fraud over its Super Stacked subs. The rub? The sandwiches don’t contain the amount of meat they’re supposed to. The suit is based on nutritional information, apparently. Here’s the math: a regular 12 inch Blimpie Best has 50 grams of protein, but a 12 inch “Super Stacked,” which is advertised to have double the meat, has only 73 grams of protein—that’s if you only count the meat.

If you count the cheese (the kind you eat), there’s 10 grams of protein (based on a double serving) but, I guess that’s just not the same if you’re a meat lover. 

It’s the first time I’ve heard of a super stacked failing to satisfy… 

Puhlease…That Kitchen is so Off-the-Rack. It appears that, contrary to real estate’s golden rule #1, not all kitchen renovations can add value to your property, and in some cases may even land you in court. Last week a “wealthy Icelandic couple” was sued for installing an “ugly kitchen” in their up-market rental apartment at the Gramercy Park Hotel in Manhattan. Guess what—it was an Ikea kitchen…oops. Time to cringe: they even have how-to-install vid’s on youtube—ouch!

I was under the impression that ‘ugly’ and ‘attractive’ and all esoteric values in between were strictly a matter of individual taste—beauty is in the eye and all that. But no, apparently not.

At least not according to the kitchen Nazis—or would they be design Nazis? The lawsuit reportedly claims the kitchen was unsuitable for such a luxurious home. What does that mean? Laminate was used instead of stone? MDF instead of Mahogany? $30k instead of $150K?

I guess the courts will have to define “unsuitable for such a luxurious home,” unless of course the ad men for Ikea can beat them to it…my money is on the ad men. 

Ok…Who’s been Slingin’ back the Seagram’s with the Psychic? And continuing on in the ‘spirit’ of the bizarre…The heiresses to the Seagram liquor fortune, Clare and Sara Bronfman, filed suit against their former financial planner recently, over allegations that she divulged their personal financial information and other confidential information to lawyers and media outlets, as a retaliatory act. Thing is, the financial planner apparently obtained most of the information from a psychic.

The obvious question is, how competent was this financial planner if she had to go to a psychic to find out what was going on with her clients? Or, who’s been blabbing about their finances to the psychic in the first place? Hell, I’m all for psychics, but seriously, is this one that good? I’m thinking all these folks have consumed a little too much of the house kool-aid.

Tags: Blimpie, Bronfman, Gramercy Park Hotel, IKEA, Seagram, Tortelicious

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