Totally Tortelicious Archive

Erectile Pump Scam Makes a Winner a Loser

November 21st, 2011. By AbiK

What would you call someone—within reason, of course—who runs a scam that allows him to buy cheap sex devices aimed at enhancing certain private parts, and then resells them to unwitting customers who’ve been diagnosed with bladder control or urinary flow issues, arthritis or diabetes—and then charges the hell out of Medicare for it?

Now, I know there are a few of you out there who are thinking—not out loud—”Ha! That’s genius!”

Most of us, however, would be thinking: low-life, good-for-nothing…LOSER.

Ironically, the idiot who masterminded this one is named Winner—Gary Winner. Can’t make this stuff up.

Winner it appears found some penis enlargers on an “adult” website and that must’ve been when his light-bulb moment occurred. No comment on just why Winner was scanning the, a-hem, self-help sections on sex toy websites—though my thoughts are rife with conjecture.

Regardless, according to a cbsnews.com report, Winner found a beauty of a device for $26 and he bought a whole bunch of them. He renamed them—after all, don’t want Medicare batting an eye with this one—”erectile pumps” and went as far as to repackage them (I have visions of him shrink-wrapping penis enlargers with a blow dryer—but perhaps I’m letting my imagination go too far here).

So Winner touted the would-be erectile pumps as being able to increase blood flow to the urinary tract and prostate with regular use. Uh-huh. I’m surprised he didn’t claim they cured Propecia E.D. as well…

But how’d he manage to bilk Medicare?

Obviously, in order to make the sales, Winner had to target Medicare beneficiaries and, lucky for him, he just happened to have access to such information via his medical device company, Planned Eldercare. Once he cajoled patients into providing their Medicare info by offering free medical equipment (swag for the ill!), he then turned around and billed Medicare $284 for each “pump”.

As Medicare coverage includes reimbursement for products treating organic impotence and erectile dysfunction (who knew?), all Winner had to do was claim the erectile pumps treated erectile dysfunction. Medicare also requires a prescription from a physician, and that may be where Winner ultimately forced a red flag or two. Read on…

$284 may not sound all too huge, but it apparently added up to some $370,305. Not too shabby. Unless you get caught. Which he did.

So Winner, who’s also answering charges of having bilked Medicare out of another $1.8 million for some “arthritic packages” (cbsnews.com) he claims Medicare beneficiaries and their doctors had ordered, is now up a creek without a paddle—or a pump of any sort.

Winner’s agreed to give up $2.2 million and he’s facing up to 33 years in prison along with $760,000 in fines. His sentencing will be on February 10, 2012.

Tags: Erectile Pump Scam, Gary Winner, Medicare, Penis Enlargement, Penis Pump Fraud. NSL
Posted in Consumer Fraud, Emerging Issues, lawsuits, Totally Tortelicious | 2 Comments »

Update: Facebook Romance Lawsuit dismissed…more to come…

August 26th, 2011. By AbiK

For anyone who was wondering what ever happened with that Cheryl Gray and Wylie Iwan Facebook romance lawsuit–the one where they met playing Mafia Wars and after a few months he facedumped her and she sued–this was the update as reported by wxyz.com…

 

Tags: Cheryl Gray, Facebook Lawsuit, Facebook romance, Facedumped, Wylie Iwan
Posted in lawsuits, Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

6 Worst Getaway Plans of the Week

May 2nd, 2011. By LucyC

Shoulda Gone with the Skinny Jeans…There’s a reason burglars wear tight-fitting clothing. A would-be convenience store robber in Florida was recently brought down by his own trousers. Talk about wardrobe malfunction.

Apparently he had just shoplifted two cases of beer from a convenience store in Lake Wales, FL, and was running across the parking lot when he tripped and fell-doing a face plant and losing his pants at the same time. Well, we all know how difficult it can be to find your feet in that type of a situation. But find his feet he did, and he eventually made it to his car, which, by the way, didn’t have a licence plate. As he took off in his clearly distinguishable Chevy Malibu, leaking cans of Bud Lite could be seen escaping from it. Talk about drama! Apparently the video of the crime is a bit of a hit with the Polk County Sheriff’s office. 

Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire—the direct line of fire that is. This would-be bully couldn’t have had worse luck. A man in Joliet, IL, was fleeing the scene of a crime only to run straight into a police convention.

No kidding. The man was trying to escape police who were after him because his girlfriend claimed he had punched her. He fled, on foot, into a nearby park where some 30 Joliet police officers were attending a seminar on “being prepared for any situation.” 

You have to love the serendipity.

Take me to your Leader…err, Owner? Here’s another eerie tale of serendipity. A man in Lincoln, Nebraska was attempting to steal a one of a kind car stereo but didn’t make out so well. After he liberated the stereo from the rightful owner’s car, he went to a sound shop to buy equipment needed to install the stereo system in his own car.

But—you knew there had to be a “but.” But, the man who managed the store was the owner of the sound system. Bingo—you’re busted! 

This fellow was arrested for larceny—even though he returned the lawn mower. Go figure. 

Early Mother’s Day Gift? A resident of East Lyme, CT, allegedly stole a lawn mower from the local Read the rest of this entry »

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Sears Lawsuit: DieHard Confused with Sex Delay Spray?

April 18th, 2011. By LucyC

The Sex Spray…

900 Cold Cranking Amps in your Crotch? Question: What do a car battery marketed by Sears and a male numbing agent have in common? Answer: A name. Well, not just any name—the name Die Hard—or is that DieHard? You know—as in the Bruce Willis movies. 

And why is this relevant to you? It’s not—necessarily. But Sears Roebuck and Co, thinks it could be. In fact, they think the similarity in names could be confusing—and that you may have difficulty in telling the respective products apart. Just to be clear—those products are a car battery and a “numbing agent for male genitalia.” 

So, Sears, and its subsidiary KCD—the company that owns the name DIEHARD, are suing RockHard—the makers of Die Hard—over the matter. 

The federal suit, filed last week in Chicago, reportedly states that RockHard Laboratories’ Die Hard product is “calculated to deceive the consuming public into believing that defendants’ products have a relationship with plaintiffs and plaintiffs’ goods and services.”

The Battery. Separated at Birth?

According to a report on WLS 890AM—the suit states that “the defendants’ conduct is likely to cause confusion, mistake, and deception of the purchasing public insofar as purchasers would incorrectly be led to believe

that defendants are affiliated with, related to, sponsored by or connected with plaintiffs,” the suit argues.

OK. I give up. What possible benefit could there be in that for the defendants? What thinking person is seriously likely to believe that strapping a car battery to his backside is going to improve his sexual performance? Or, that KCD/DIEHARD, under which Sears sells the batteries, auto parts, hats and boots—is seriously likely to branch out into male sexual enhancement products? Maybe there’s a role for the hats and boots—but as for the rest of it—I think that’s a bit of a stretch (pardon the pun). 

But hey, what do I know. 

As for RockHard, it has apparently been marketing the Die Hard ‘numbing agent’ since 2010. Just as an aside, I’d be rethinking the name—lawsuit or not. It hardly invokes confidence. Think about it. 

Apparently, RockHard Laboratories stands accused of not one, not two—but eight federal crimes, including trademark infringement, unfair competition and deceptive trade practices. Sounds like RockHard is about to get stiffed. 

Once Bitten Twice Robbing? A 33-year old man who was arrested in Glendale after biting a police dog—who he claims bit him—is now suing the police, alleging that the dog violated his civil rights, and used excessive force to capture him. Okee dokee. 

Erin Sullivan, the dog biter, was attempting to escape the police during a burglary investigation in Glendale, when, I’m guessing, the dog took control of the situation. Of course the fact that Sullivan was breaking the law by committing a robbery seems to have escaped him. The police claim that Sullivan injured the dog when he bit the pooch.  

The lawsuit reportedly names the cities of Phoenix and Glendale and four officers as defendants. Sullivan was apparently hoping to get $200,000 from Glendale and $250,000 from Phoenix. Sounds like the robbery is still in progress, even though Sullivan is currently serving an eight year sentence for the physical crime.

Purse Snatcher Can’t Get Away, Calls 911. So, who should you call if you find yourself in a bit of a jam—being chased by an irate woman whose purse you just snatched, and an eyewitness driving a snow plow? Why, 911. Of course. 

Eighteen year-old Cody Bragg was recently sentenced to nine years in prison for the purse snatching. He had grabbed the purse from a woman in a parking lot outside Wal-Mart in Alliance, Ohio. But he clearly got more than he bargained for and called 911—telling the dispatcher “There is this guy in a snow plow that is following me, and, uh, he’s scaring me.” 

I think it’s only a matter of time before there’s an App for 911.

Tags: Die Hard, DieHard Battery, RockHard Laboratories, Sears DieHard, Sears Roebuck, Sex Delay Spray, Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Spring Break Munchies? Whopper Melee over Jr Whopper Delay

March 29th, 2011. By LucyC

March Madness and People Behaving Badly. Make that Very Badly…

Out of Bounds at the BK Lounge. Ok—we know that people’s attention spans appear to be getting shorter—but this is ridiculous. A 31-year old woman got so fed up with waiting to collect her order at a Burger King in Panama Beach, FL that she hopped over the counter and began attacking the counter staff. Yup. That’s really going to speed things up.

Thirty-one year old Kimesa Smith had ordered a Whopper Jr, and fries, and somehow decided that having waited for 20 minutes was just not acceptable. So, “We tore the Burger King up,” she reportedly told investigators. “I don’t play no games.” Good thing really, as she doesn’t seem to play well.

Apparently, she threw food at employees and struck workers with a jar that was on the counter and full of coins meant for charity. She also jumped onto the counter and pulled a manager’s hair.

And not to be left out—it seems some of the customers got involved as well, as a YouTube video—that’s it up top—bears witness, by throwing napkins around and even a chair. It should be mentioned that some of the patrons were in the area on Spring Break, as was Smith.

Of course the Panama City Beach police were called—having nothing better to do—and managed to get things under control. Smith was the only person charged—with misdemeanor battery. Ex post facto, she racked up additional charges of felony criminal mischief with damage exceeding $1,000, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Apparently, she said she would have gone to Taco Bell if she’d known she wasn’t going to be treated fairly—whatever that means.

I think this makes a good argument for using the drive-thru…or better yet—ordering pizza.

Maybe the “Dead” Part was Going too Far? What would you do if your 19-year old daughter Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious | 2 Comments »