Idiots Give New Meaning to Snow Job and Get Caught

January 25th, 2011. By LucyC

Here’s a short list of some of the dumber things would-be crooks got up to around the country recently.

Can you name 10 things you shouldn’t do in a snow storm? I’ll bet you can—but I’ll also bet that robbery wouldn’t be one of the items that made your list. But there are three hapless teenagers who now know first-hand that it ain’t a bright idea.

An 18-year old youth, referred to as Darian O, and his two buddies aged 17 and 16, used their initiative to rob motorists stranded in the snow in Kansas City, MO. Nope. Not kidding.

Imagine—you’re stuck in your car in the snow—or trying to dig it out—when these three kids come up to—you would think to offer their assistance. But no—it’s ‘give me your money! and possible watch, credit cards, CDs, iPod—whatever you got.’

As fate would have it, Darian O. and friends also got stuck in the snow—their car wasn’t going anywhere—as if in some kind of inspired protest. The police caught up with them and charged them with robbery. I hope they have to shovel the jailhouse exercise yard for the rest of the winter!

PS—this is something one likely shouldn’t do at all—regardless of the weather.

Well, those cop cars do have red lights on top… Here’s another 911 story—this one about a man in North Carolina man who was arrested after he phoned 911 while trying to find a prostitute. Apparently, he asked the Lexington Police Department for “a non-emergency domestic escort.”

Ok—I don’t even want to imagine what an emergency domestic escort scenario would involve…

As it turns out, the fellow did get an escort—in a black and white car—the kind with flashing lights on top—all the way to the jail. Charges? Misusing 911. What is it about 911?

To press “TALK”, or not to press “TALK”? And another skill-testing question—if you’ve stolen a cell phone should you answer it—if it rings?

A couple of would be purse-snatchers didn’t know the answer to that question, as they sat, phone ringing on the car seat next to them, providing information to the police officer who had just pulled them over.

One of the officers—the one in the squad car—called the cell phone—and it started ringing while the suspects sat next to it in their vehicle. Cute.

Nassau County Detective Sgt. John Giambrone said that when the officer made the call, the stolen phone was “on the front seat of the car, in plain view, inside a white paper bag from an Italian restaurant.” I guess that sealed the deal.

So you can buy the beer or go to jail… the police officer said to a 30-year old man who had just stolen a 30-can pack of Budweiser. Well, maybe not exactly those words, but ‘Bud Man’, of Tulsa, OK, was offered a choice. And he chose—to take off in his car.

Don’t know if he was caught. But I would imagine he did need a drink after that little altercation. 

Least they waited for the Rose Parade to be over…And finally, a couple of bright fellows in California hatched a plot to steal a brass lamp that sat atop a historic light pole in Pasadena. Who knows.

Frank Bise, 44, and Steven Dickinson, 52, were caught—my guess would be because the job couldn’t be done quickly, quietly or without involving some heavy equipment. Apparently, recycling centers and scrap yards pay a pretty penny for brass lamps. I’m guessing these two are not career criminals…

Tags: Tortelicious

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