Quentin Tarantino Bird Lawsuit: Angry Quentin App Potential?

March 22nd, 2011. By LucyC

Inspiration for a Quentin Tarantino Version of ‘Angry Birds’? Possibilities abound: mini Quentin’s catapulting over a neighbor’s fence—precisely targeting a multi-tiered scaffold housing perched Macaws. Sure to show up on your app marketplace any time soon. But I leap ahead too quickly…

What do you think of when you hear the name Quentin Tarantino? Film director famous for films such as “Kill Bill”—which is not short of violence and loud noise—possibly?

Well, it seems he can dish it out but not suck it up. He’s suing Alan Ball, the Oscar-winning writer of “American Beauty”, creator of the TV hits “Six Feet Under” and “True Blood,” and his neighbor. The problem? Some “blood-curdling” “pterodactyl-like screams,” emanating from Ball’s house. The source? Ball’s exotic bird menagerie.

What did you think it was?

According to a report in The Telegraph, Tarantino says the macaws are interfering with progress on the film he currently working on and that Ball has “done little to eliminate the daily cacophony.”

Apparently, the six-page complaint states, “The defendants know that their birds issue blood-curdling, prehistoric-sounding screams.” Tarantino filed last week in the Los Angeles County Superior Court. It reportedly goes on to state “Though one might assume that, as a fellow writer, Mr. Ball would understand and respect a writer’s need for peace and quiet while he is working, that assumption would be wrong.”

According to the lawsuit, the first complaints Tarantino made about the “ear-splitting shrieks” were in February, 2010. So Ball tried to accommodate by building a soundproof habitat but it didn’t work. Good of him to try though. Maybe Tarantino should play Kill Bill at top volume for a couple of days—as payback. Who knows, it might even scare the birds into submission.

The Judges Weigh In? While most of the developed world is struggling with obesity—and just getting down to a heart-friendly dress size is cause for major celebration—it seems that in the world of beauty pageants, a size 2 just won’t cut it. Case in point, 17-year old Domonique Ramirez, who was recently crowned Miss San Antonio, was dethroned, she claims in her lawsuit, because she was told to “get off the tacos”—she no longer looked good in a bikini—at a size 2. I didn’t even know you could cast a shadow at size 2.

In her lawsuit, Ramirez claims that pageant officials harassed her for gaining weight, which ultimately left her stripped of the Miss San Antonio Tiara, 2001. FYI—she reportedly weighs 129 lbs and stands 5 foot 8 inches tall.

Not surprisingly, the president of the Miss Bexar County organization, Linda Woods, claims the loss of the crown had nothing to do with dress sizes and everything to do with responsibility—or lack thereof. However, she is noted as stating that a recent photo of Ramirez in a bikini proved unusable and couldn’t be airbrushed, because the teenager was just too fat.

So—it’s war—the sashes and tiaras are off—the mud-slinging has begun—and it’s up to a judge to decide. Nothing unusual there.

He’s In the Cell and On the Cell. (How often does that happen?) Ok—what part of ‘you only get one phone call’ did this guy not get? And, again, what is it with 911? Twenty-six year old Joseph Walsh, who was taken into custody in Ohio recently, used his cell phone to call 911 to complain about being held against his will. Like emergency services should care.

According to the local paper, The Morning Journal, Walsh asked the dispatcher who had the misfortune to take the call “I want to know why I’m getting hogtied to the holding cell up here in the county jail. All I’m trying to do is get my phone call.”

Hey—maybe he broke the law—just a wild guess.

As it turned out he couldn’t even get that right. Walsh was arrested for trying to start a fight in a bar—allegedly. And, surprise, the police found a bag of cocaine and a rolled up $20 on him when they took him into custody. Apparently, he banged the holding cell door and screamed and generally created such a fuss that the police handcuffed him to the door of the cell. Despite this he managed to use his cell phone.

The police did take the phone away from him eventually—thankfully before he had time to Tweet. He’s been charged with cocaine possession, persistent disorderly conduct while intoxicated—and joins a string of folks in this charge—misuse of 911.

Note: Photo, Field&Stream, where you can learn how to make your own slingshot out of a twig.

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011 at 4:04 pm and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.