Posts Tagged ‘ Crazy sh*t lawyers see ’

A Man Walks into a Bar, Steps Outside to Sh*t and…

September 16th, 2014. By LucyC

Well, the name of our column is “Crazy Sh*t Lawyers See”, so this one’s fitting…

And this one’s dirty. Shitty, actually. Literally. A former Merrill Lynch financial adviser who decided to relieve himself in the woods behind a bar has filed a lawsuit against the city of Mount Dora and the police officer who cited him for disorderly conduct in 2010. Elvan Moore is alleging his civil rights were violated through the enforcement of a “careless and reckless policy” and that the charges resulted in him losing his job at ML.

OK—my first question—what was the police officer doing in the woods? Answer—he followed Moore out the bar. Ok that’s just weird. According to the officer, he followed Moore out the bar and into woods where he saw him squatting and next to a broken-down car and noted the strong odor of feces. Really—didn’t the cop have anything better to do? Mount Dora’s finest?

Moore is alleging that the charges are bogus, as he was vomiting not defecating (does the exit point really make a difference?) as a result of some vitamins he had taken. Apparently he was also prepared—as the police officer saw that Moore had paper napkins with him.

Now, disorderly conduct, it turns out, is a vague beast. Florida’s disorderly conduct statute includes acts that “corrupt the public morals or outrage the sense of public decency, or affect the peace and quiet of persons who may witness them.” You could pretty much write your own ticket based on that description. Interestingly, the charges were eventually dropped… BUT—they are a matter of public record and that is why Moore has his knickers in a knot.

Moore’s lawsuit claims the officer’s allegations caused him to lose his job at ML, and suffer damages to his reputation, as well as embarrassment and humiliation. Hard to avoid, I would think. And he does have legal recourse through a statute commonly used for police brutality.

The city of Mount Dora has not come clean on how it plans to handle the lawsuit. Moore is seeking over $15,000 in damages.

Tags: Crazy sh*t lawyers see, Disorderly Conduct, Mount Dora Florida
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Crazy Sh*t Lawyers See: How Not to Launch a Hollywood Lawsuit…

August 5th, 2014. By LucyC

We’ve had it! The lawyers defending—or not—Michael Egan III—who filed a sexual abuse lawsuit against “X-Men” director Bryan Singer—want out. And they’ve got their court date—August 6^th.  Can’t blame ’em when you consider how much this one’s been in the media; when you win a case on the front page of the news, you win big–not so when you’re realizing the front page news might be that your client didn’t prevail… So, attorneys Jeff Herman and Mark Gallagher claim they no longer speak with their client—except through a new lawyer. Yup, that would make things difficult. So, sometimes you just have to cut your losses.

The backstory—31-year old Egan is accusing Singer of sexually abusing him during trips he took to Hawaii in 1999, when he was 17. Singer has denied the allegations, and filed a motion to dismiss, scheduled for September 9.  FYI—Egan has dropped similar lawsuits he filed against other entertainment figures—so precedent’s on Singer’s side. Adding to the defense attorney’s frustration must be the fact that Egan can’t seem to get his story straight on this lawsuit either, with old depositions coming up that would seemingly negate his charges. Specifically, a deposition given by Egan 10 years ago (11/24/03) as part of a lawsuit also alleging sexual abuse, given under penalty of perjury, where he stated he hadn’t been included on a trip to Hawaii in 1999. Hmm…so, first question that comes to mind – how did the alleged sexual abuse take place ? Virtually? Oh wait—1999 predates “virtually” as we understand it today. Egan also claims Singer abused him in Encino California, which Singer is also denying. According to Buzzfeed, which published part of the deposition, when asked about the Hawaii trip, Egan said “Never had any trips outside the continental US, no.” This, after the attorney who was asking the questions even said to INCLUDE Hawaii, Alaska and the Caribbean as part of the “continental U.S.” So we’re taking a bit of a broad, loosey-goosey definition of “continental” here folks…. Jeff Hermann, trying to do his job, told Buzzfeed that his client may have not have understood the question at the time. “I’m not sure how he interpreted the continental United States,” Herman said. “I’m not sure what he’s talking about specifically here.” Well, if he doesn’t know, then they are in trouble. Hermann reportedly also confirmed with Egan’s mother, Bonnie Mound, and Egan that he had in fact traveled to Hawaii. But Egan said in the deposition that he had not traveled to Hawaii because his mother would not approve of it. What? “Any trip that I ever asked to go anywhere within any far amount of distance to Mexico, any of those my mom would say no and pretty much lock the door and not let me go,” he said at the time. “She didn’t want me going anywhere outside the United States, really.” Well, I’m confused. But as far as abuse goes—it would seem the legal system is taking the brunt of it. PS—as this one winds its way to its likely conclusion, another defendant in the sexual abuse cases, former TV executive Garth Ancier, has filed a malicious prosecution action against both Egan and Herman; stay tuned…

Tags: Bryan Singer, Crazy sh*t lawyers see, Michael Egan, Sexual Abuse, X-Men
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Alleged Robber Sues his Victims for Violating his Civil Rights

July 28th, 2014. By LucyC

C’mon now—you simply cannot make this stuff up. You can’t help but think of “Green Eggs and Ham”, too as you’re thinking about the plaintiff attorney who may have been approached about the pleasure of taking on this baby…”Would you, could you…take on this case?” So here goes…

If at first you don’t succeed…and Nigel Sykes surely has nothing to lose by trying. He apparently doesn’t have an attorney…he’s just filed his fourth complaint against the officers of the Delaware Police department and Seasons Pizza restaurant alleging his civil rights were violated during his attempted robbery of the pizza place. Yep. HIS rights during HIS attempted robbery.

The 23-year old convicted felon is currently serving out his 15-year sentence for robbery and attempted robbery. It seems that in addition to attempting to rob Seasons, he was also linked to 8 other robberies in the area. But I digress.

The subject of Sykes lawsuit is his treatment at the hands of the restaurant employees and the attending police officers. The story goes that on November 30, 2010 Sykes entered Seasons Pizza located in Wilmington, Delaware, armed with a gun. But he hadn’t banked on the employees swinging into action.

According to his complaint, “The defendant handed me $140.” Then, it all went to hell in a handbasket. Sykes alleges he was grabbed by one of the employees as he tried to leave the store. “After a short struggle, the defendants successfully obtained the handgun from me,” the complaint states. “That is when the assault began.”

Sykes alleges the employees punched and kicked him and poured hot soup over his body. Ouch—that’s really gotta hurt. For $140? I don’t think so.

“I was unarmed and defenseless and had to suffer a brutal beating by all the employees of Seasons Pizza,” Sykes wrote. He also claims he was eventually knocked unconscious during which time he was assaulted by three responding Newport Police officers. Vigilantism or responding to a threat? Would depend on which side of the courtroom you’re on, I’m guessing.

In a complaint filed in February 2011, without an attorney, Sykes that he was knocked unconscious at least twice by Seasons’ employees at the restaurant, then tasered several times by the responding police officers. He also alleged that he was led to a police vehicle where he was punched in the stomach and head then slammed against the trunk.

“They handcuffed me behind my back,” Sykes wrote. “I was aroused from my state of unconsciousness only to realize that I was handcuffed and being tasered. I was tasered a total of three consecutive times while handcuffed.” Racial slurs are also alleged.

That complaint was dismissed in May, 2011, but Sykes filed a second amended version in July 2013, having pled guilty to the attempted robbery. That complaint was also dismissed without prejudice. So, in February 2014, he filed the latest version naming Seasons Pizza, the Newport Police Department and three officers rather than the Delaware State Police as defendants. He also alleges in this version that he was denied medical care at the scene despite the presence of paramedics. Nice.

He was seeking compensatory damages, claiming he continues to suffer the effects of the beating, including bruises, headaches, contusions and burns. Specifically, $100,000 from the Newport Police Dept, $60,000 from the three officers, $100,000 from the pizza joint, and $120,000 from six employees at Seasons.

On April 17, the court dismissed the claims made against the Newport Police Dept and one of the officers… but the court has allowed Sykes to proceed on the assault claims against Seasons and its employees, as well as the claims of excessive force brought against two other Newport officers.

This ought to be interesting…

Tags: Civil Rights, Crazy sh*t lawyers see, Nigel Sykes
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Crazy Sh*t Lawyers See: Model Mobster?

June 18th, 2014. By LucyC

You never know what you’ll hear in court when it comes to trying to finagle a defendant’s way out of jail…so here we go…

Defend This:  A reputed/alleged New York mobster, Thomas Gelardo, has filed a civil suit claiming that a Manhattan criminal judge is holding him in jail unfairly. Gelardo is awaiting trial on charges of assaulting his ex-girlfriend, porn star Trista Geyer.

According to attorney Bruno Gioffre Jr., Gelardo should not be in jail, telling Justice Charles H. Solomon that “despite having a prior criminal record” his client was basically a model citizen who has “lifelong ties to the community” and “always returned to court” for past offenses. (Huh?) Ties to the community—believable—always returned to court—believable—a model citizen—uhhh….

In addition to violating the restraining order brought by Geyer, whom Gelardo reportedly called 60 times in one day (jeez—that could get tiring), Gelardo’s list of offenses include an arrest for ”roughing up” (what does that mean?) Geyer in November 2013, and charges for burglary, assault, strangulation (is that “roughing up”?), aggravated criminal contempt and tampering with a witness. Model citizen indeed. Oh yeah baby—that’s the kind of neighbor I want.

So lawyer Gioffre, trying to put a warm and fuzzy lustre on his less than stellar client, asked Justice Solomon that Gelardo be released on $250,000 bail, supported by a piece of property co-owned by the 31-year old “model citizen” and his sister. No surprise, Justice Solomon wasn’t having any of it—ordering Gelardo to stay in jail because he repeatedly violated a restraining order by obsessively contacting his former girlfriend, as we’ve heard. (Thank you Justice Solomon—this is why we pay you the big bucks.)

Gelardo’s attorney filed the civil suit against the Department of Correction claiming Solomon’s decision to keep his client in jail instead of setting bail is “arbitrary and capricious.” Gioffre, in his client’s defense, gave the court a tape of the ex-girlfriend (whose resume includes photo-spreads in Hustler and Playboy) giving “conflicting statements as to how she was injured.”

He also told Justice Solomon that Geyer “was uncooperative, living in Florida” and “had sent a letter to the court indicating that she did not want to pursue this matter.” Living in Florida could be many things–but uncooperative? That’s a new one.

Hey—you have to give Gioffre his due—Gelardo is reportedly connected to the Luchese “crime family.”

So far, the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office is keeping quiet on this one.

Tags: Crazy sh*t lawyers see
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Crazy Sh*t Lawyers See: Mr. Misunderstood’s a ‘Peacemaker’, not a Terrorist

May 16th, 2014. By LucyC

Ever wonder what a prosecuting attorney must be thinking when his opponent’s defense against alleged involvement in terrorist behavior boils down to…but I’m a ‘peacemaker’? Only thing that would’ve been better is if he said it Michael Jackson-style: ‘I’m a lover, not a fighter’. Can we get some eye-rolls please? #SRSLY

So, a jury in Manhattan currently hearing a case involving Abu Hamza al-Masri, a Muslim cleric on trial for inciting terrorist crimes in the US, has been warned by the prosecutor not to be “fooled” by the man (feel free to break out into “Won’t get Fooled Again!” at any time…)

If convicted, 56-year old Abu Hamza al-Masri is facing life imprisonment. But he claims he was just a “peacemaker” or “mouthpiece” for followers of his and that he was unaware of plans they had to commit terror crimes.

Not so, according to Assistant US Attorney Ian McGinley, who was not taking prisoners (pardon the pun) when he ripped into the imam for trying to distance himself from the charges. While McGinely had him on the witness stand, al-Masri claimed he did not conspire with top lieutenants whose crimes include traveling to Bly, Oregon to establish a terrorist training camp, undertaking a 1998 kidnapping of tourists in Yemen that left four people dead, and other terror crimes.

“Oregon, Afghanistan, Yemen—these were the defendant’s choices,” McGinley said. “Yet when he testified in this courtroom, he ran from all those choices and decisions that were at the core of his devotion to jihad. He ran, saying he was just misunderstood.”

“These people are his followers,” he added. “He’s the one common denominator in this criminal conduct spanning the globe.

Defense lawyer Jeremy Schneider, wasn’t having it, claiming that the prosecutors have, during the five-week trial, been taking al-Masri’s words of hate against the West out of context in an attempt to sway jurors. (Question—how do you take words of hate out of context? Do you need context?) During closing arguments Schneider told jurors  “A lot, if not the majority, of their evidence was his words, not his deeds.” Ah, so there is no power in the pulpit—so to speak—where do you start with that one?

Jurors began their deliberating Thursday.

Tags: Abu Hamza al-Masri, alleged terrorism, Assistant US Attorney Ian McGinley, Crazy sh*t lawyers see
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