Rare it is indeed that a lawsuit comes along that can generate that kind of headline. But, as fate would have it, a lawsuit has been filed up in the Great White North (channeling Geddy Lee here) about chewing gum that allegedly caused depression thereby warranting the damages sought for $100,000.
Let me throw some light on this for you.
Seems that Elsie C. Pawlow is a denture wearer (hopefully not a power Fixodent user as well). And, she elected to chew some Stride gum. You know the one—with the big curvy sweepy “S”on the package. Quick background tip: it’s made by Cadbury Adams which is involved in that price fixing lawsuit we mentioned last week.
Now, why Pawlow didn’t choose Freedent is a question that remains unanswered—given that it’s marketed as the gum that “won’t stick to most dental work”. But she didn’t. She chose Stride and that’s when things apparently went downhill.
According to the lawsuit which was filed in Edmonton, Canada, when Pawlow chewed the Stride gum, it started to fall apart into little pieces after she’d been chewing it for about five minutes. Then, the little pieces allegedly stuck to her dentures.
Now, it’s a bit of misfortune that could happen to anyone, right? Kind of like chomping into an apple when you have braces and all that pulp crap gets stuck in the wiring—if you’ve been there, you know. And it’s bummer to have to pick and floss it all out—but, hey, comes with the territory.
Pawlow, however, must not be so breezy peasy about such things.
No, according to the complaint, Pawlow suffered approximately ten minutes of depression while she was digging the pieces of gum out of her dentures.
No joke. Pawlow is claiming she suffered ten minutes of depression.
I’m thinking—and hoping—that the makers of Prozac or Zoloft are reading this and brainstorming a new market for “Prozac Lite” or something—for when you have that ten minutes of circumstantial darkness and just need to get over the hump.
Ten minutes of depression? Please. Ten minutes of aggravation? Yea, gummed up dentures could hit that proverbial last nerve. But I challenge Pawlow to share her definition of “depression” with any true sufferer of depression and see how her version stacks up.
Was she unable to function? Was she feeling hopeless and purposeless for all of ten minutes? And is “flash depression” grounds for a lawsuit? Think about it—I’m guessing you probably experience 600 seconds of depression on a daily basis. Get to the root of it and maybe you can have a lawsuit, too.
I jest, of course. And I do feel badly for Elsie Pawlow.
But here’s a newsflash, Elsie: Gum sticks to things. And when a pack of gum costs a couple of dollars and maybe a few minutes of aggravation, somehow $100,000 seems a bit…much.