Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre lawsuits making news. Goodness knows there’s no shortage of them.
I’ll have what he’s having…A 49 year-old Oregon man is suing Idaho police for $25,000 alleging that they destroyed the mystical powers of a medicine bag he had with him, when the police opened it during his arrest for drunken driving. Apparently, the bag had been blessed by a medicine woman in 1995 and had remained closed ever since. (I’m not sure I’d want to open it after all that time…) The bag was supposed to provide him with protection. Personally, I’d be suing the medicine woman for providing a defective product.
So this fellow was pulled over while riding his Harley, and apparently blew a blood alcohol level of 0.16. FYI—0.08 is legally drunk, and 0.16—according to generally accepted guidelines established by Radford University in 1996—is associated with “Emotional instability; loss of critical judgment, impairment of perception, memory and comprehension, decreased senses; prolonged reaction time…etc. In this case, I would add delusional to that list…Speaking of which, what is his lawyer drinking?
Polly Want a Chocolate? A 19-year old Scottish man was sentenced to a weekend in the clanger, and ordered to buy his grandmother a box of chocolates as an apology for threatening his gran’s parrot.
Stefan McKinsely apparently attacked the parrot’s cage because, he said, it was interrupting his sleep. His gran tells a different story, however, claiming that her grandson was intoxicated. She did the right thing and called the police at the sociable hour of 2:34 in the morning. No wonder the parrot was pissed.
In fact, he’s probably, the only creature who actually did know what was going on and decided to sing… (Ok. That was bad…)
Curb Your Enthusiasm…A woman who was getting into the spirit of Jefferson’s birthday, albeit in her own way—dancing away to tunes on her headphones at the Jefferson memorial—was arrested for her show of enthusiasm.
Mary Oberwetter was part of a group of 17 people who were dancing, silently, around midnight on April 12, 2008 at the memorial when they were told to stop by a National Park Service officer. She was charged, but the charges, goodness only knows what they were, were dropped.
But Mary sued the Park Service, claiming that her rights to free expression had been violated. Not so, according to a US district judge, who said that the memorial is not a public forum where people can dance—no matter how quietly.
I have to admit if I wanted to go out dancing, the Jefferson Memorial would not be my first pick, I don’t think it’s licensed…