Posts Tagged ‘ Lex Levity ’

Need a Job? What about Full-Time Plaintiff? Cha-ching!

July 6th, 2010. By Hunter West

Today, I am embarking on a career change: 

FULL-TIME PLAINTIFF.

I may not be around as much, as I will always be in court—and my name will be in the news a lot, so at least you’ll know what I’m up to. I won’t have to blog as frequently, to keep you apprised of life in the Hunter household. 

You will salivate at the size of my bank account, even after legal fees are deducted. Of course, the strategy is to sue for legal fees, too. 

What set me on this course to dramatically improve my fortune? 

Look north, to Canada, and you will see what opened my eyes. 

Last week, two sets of parents sued the Greater Toronto Hockey League, one of its clubs and four coaches for $25,000 each for the heinous act of cutting their sons from a midget junior ‘A’ team during tryouts in April. 

“Their direct actions have caused irreparable psychological damage to [plaintiff’s] self esteem as an impressionable teenager and demoralized [plaintiff] as an athlete and team hockey player with his peers,” one claim reads. “The conduct by all defendants destroyed the dignity of my son, whom in good conscience gave his team nothing but his best efforts.” 

Statement of claim 2: “When [plaintiff] was advised of his termination by my wife and I, he vowed never to play the game he loved since childhood. And, moreover, his misguided group of defendants demoralized my wife and I, whom had gone well beyond the call of duty as parents in support of the [defendant] for two seasons.” 

That was the clincher, dear friends—although I’ve been giving this career change serious thought for some time…ever since I heard of the Canadian lawsuit back in the winter by a woman who is suing her mobile phone service provider for ruining her life. How? Well, due to a billing change by the service provider, the plaintiff’s husband Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Defective Product, Lawsuit, Lex Levity
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Paris Hilton finds her talent niche: litigious living

September 1st, 2009. By AbiK

Paris Hilton may not have found her talent niche yet, but she apparently knows how to work the systems—PR and courts, that is. You have to give her credit, she’s tried modeling, acting (tv, viral-release video, and film), singing, perfuming (is that a word?)…but it’s only been recently that she may have found her true calling: a litigious living.

Paris and the Law: Take One

Someone—namely some film investors—had the nerve to file a lawsuit against Paris alleging that she failed to promote her 2006 box office miss “Pledge This!”. See, the movie didn’t quite provide the hoped for ROI, so the investors kind of wanted some money back ($8.3 million, specifically). So they went after what they perceived to be the best target: Paris. Deep pockets? Check! Possible reason film sucked? Check! They figured, hey, easy way to recoup that investment. Unfortunately, U.S. District Judge Federico Moreno didn’t quite agree. He felt the lawsuit was based on speculation. Oh, she may have to cough up around $1 mill, but still…Paris is 1-0.

Paris and the Law: Take Two

Fast-forward to 2007 when Paris took the reins and went after Hallmark. Those creative types in Missouri played off some pop culture (Paris!) and created a greeting card with a cartoon image of a waitress on it. Ahh, but the cartoon had an actual image of Paris’ head superimposed on it, with the caption, “That’s hot”. Paris didn’t take it too kindly— Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Hallmark, Lex Levity, Paris Hilton
Posted in Lex Levity | 2 Comments »

Cheapest Law School Ever

August 4th, 2009. By AbiK

It won’t help you make partner, or even get admitted to the bar, but if a hankering for law has gotten under your skin, look no further than “Law School in a Box”, available at MentalFloss.com.

In addition to a textbook (96 pages long!), the “box” part of the learning system includes some Heroes of the Courtroom trading cards, You Be the Judge quiz cards, and a mini-bar exam (no, it doesn’t include any mini bottles of Bacardi for post-exam).

Should you pass the mini-bar, there’s even a diploma—with “real Latin words”! Lingua Latina vivit! But the greatest reward? Knowing that a mere $14.95 investment has kick-started a brilliant legal career. For those of you with higher aspirations, go get that second Master’s and pick up an MBA or an MD while you’re there—in this unstable economy, the more sheepskins you’ve got, well, it might not get you a job but it could give your ego a boost.

Tags: Lex Levity
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