So there’s a couple of apps out there that’ll predict a guy’s penis size based on his shoe size. Yes, it’s that old (and questionable) wives’ tale now appearing on smartphones everywhere—God knows how many times you’ve been out and about and needed to estimate some guy’s penis size…
But one of the penis size apps involves Chubby Checker, and a lawsuit.
Haven’t heard of that app? But you’ve heard of Chubby Checker, right? Well, the music legend has been battling Hewlett-Packard (HP) and Palm over the use of his stage name—Chubby Checker (real name Ernest Evans)—a name which he just happens to have trademarked—for this app that “converts” shoe size to penis size. Yes, the app is called “The Chubby Checker”.
You can’t fault the real Checker for wanting zero connection to the app—not just because it’s probably one of the stupidest apps that’s ever been created (like, how long do you think anyone would use it? maybe 4-5 times max while slinging back some drinks at happy hour?), and not just because it’s a trademark infringement issue; but take a look at the app description:
FOR ENTERTAINMENT!!! Any of you ladies out there just start seeing someone new and wondering what the size of there member is. Well now you can right now from your phone. All you need to do is find out the man’s shoe size and plug it in and don’t worry where your from because The Chubby Checker supports shoe measurements of different regions and types. Now with The Chubby Checker there is no need for disappointment or surprise…
Who the heck wrote this? Yes, there are people out there that even spell-check cannot help. And here’s a screenshot of what you’ll get you once you “input” your man’s shoe size:
Verdict on the Chubby Checker app: Not So Sweet.
Given that The Chubby Checker app has only had 2,364 downloads—which is like less than the average graduating class size at many US universities—it’s not as though anyone’s really clamoring for ability to estimate penis size. A good thing for Checker.
Unfortunately, though, Checker had already sent a cease and desist letter to both HP and Palm that apparently went unanswered and certainly unheeded. So now he’s suing.
For those wondering about the other penis sizer app of note, it’s called The Predicktor (ha-ha get it?) and, rather than being targeted toward women, this one’s aimed at men—for those insecure moments when a guy wonders how he measures up. At least from a screenshot perspective, The Predicktor measures up better than The Chubby Checker:
Created by Canadian doc, Dr. Chris Culligan, the Predicktor claims to share “scientific journal articles reporting on men’s health and sexuality. This includes the actual distribution of penis size, as found in peer review journals. It also touches on selected literature studying what women really think about men’s genitalia—not the locker room giggles but actual results from surveys.”
Predicktor, which was “on sale” for 99¢ for Valentine’s Day, gauges the size of a man’s erect penis after the user enters his height, sexual orientation and finger length.
Who knew?
Maybe there’ll soon be an Estitmator app for guys wondering how endowed their gals really are…