Posts Tagged ‘ Sears DieHard ’

Sears Lawsuit: DieHard Confused with Sex Delay Spray?

April 18th, 2011. By LucyC

The Sex Spray…

900 Cold Cranking Amps in your Crotch? Question: What do a car battery marketed by Sears and a male numbing agent have in common? Answer: A name. Well, not just any name—the name Die Hard—or is that DieHard? You know—as in the Bruce Willis movies. 

And why is this relevant to you? It’s not—necessarily. But Sears Roebuck and Co, thinks it could be. In fact, they think the similarity in names could be confusing—and that you may have difficulty in telling the respective products apart. Just to be clear—those products are a car battery and a “numbing agent for male genitalia.” 

So, Sears, and its subsidiary KCD—the company that owns the name DIEHARD, are suing RockHard—the makers of Die Hard—over the matter. 

The federal suit, filed last week in Chicago, reportedly states that RockHard Laboratories’ Die Hard product is “calculated to deceive the consuming public into believing that defendants’ products have a relationship with plaintiffs and plaintiffs’ goods and services.”

The Battery. Separated at Birth?

According to a report on WLS 890AM—the suit states that “the defendants’ conduct is likely to cause confusion, mistake, and deception of the purchasing public insofar as purchasers would incorrectly be led to believe

that defendants are affiliated with, related to, sponsored by or connected with plaintiffs,” the suit argues.

OK. I give up. What possible benefit could there be in that for the defendants? What thinking person is seriously likely to believe that strapping a car battery to his backside is going to improve his sexual performance? Or, that KCD/DIEHARD, under which Sears sells the batteries, auto parts, hats and boots—is seriously likely to branch out into male sexual enhancement products? Maybe there’s a role for the hats and boots—but as for the rest of it—I think that’s a bit of a stretch (pardon the pun). 

But hey, what do I know. 

As for RockHard, it has apparently been marketing the Die Hard ‘numbing agent’ since 2010. Just as an aside, I’d be rethinking the name—lawsuit or not. It hardly invokes confidence. Think about it. 

Apparently, RockHard Laboratories stands accused of not one, not two—but eight federal crimes, including trademark infringement, unfair competition and deceptive trade practices. Sounds like RockHard is about to get stiffed. 

Once Bitten Twice Robbing? A 33-year old man who was arrested in Glendale after biting a police dog—who he claims bit him—is now suing the police, alleging that the dog violated his civil rights, and used excessive force to capture him. Okee dokee. 

Erin Sullivan, the dog biter, was attempting to escape the police during a burglary investigation in Glendale, when, I’m guessing, the dog took control of the situation. Of course the fact that Sullivan was breaking the law by committing a robbery seems to have escaped him. The police claim that Sullivan injured the dog when he bit the pooch.  

The lawsuit reportedly names the cities of Phoenix and Glendale and four officers as defendants. Sullivan was apparently hoping to get $200,000 from Glendale and $250,000 from Phoenix. Sounds like the robbery is still in progress, even though Sullivan is currently serving an eight year sentence for the physical crime.

Purse Snatcher Can’t Get Away, Calls 911. So, who should you call if you find yourself in a bit of a jam—being chased by an irate woman whose purse you just snatched, and an eyewitness driving a snow plow? Why, 911. Of course. 

Eighteen year-old Cody Bragg was recently sentenced to nine years in prison for the purse snatching. He had grabbed the purse from a woman in a parking lot outside Wal-Mart in Alliance, Ohio. But he clearly got more than he bargained for and called 911—telling the dispatcher “There is this guy in a snow plow that is following me, and, uh, he’s scaring me.” 

I think it’s only a matter of time before there’s an App for 911.

Tags: Die Hard, DieHard Battery, RockHard Laboratories, Sears DieHard, Sears Roebuck, Sex Delay Spray, Tortelicious
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