Posts Tagged ‘ Tortelicious ’

Outrage! Why Wasn’t Diego in a Car Seat? No Diego, Don’t Go!

December 14th, 2010. By LucyC

This week it’s all about getting creative. 

Diego’s Riding Shotgun. Take this fellow for instance. Knowing he was going to be late for work—and who needs that stress in this economy—he decided to take “Go, Diego, Go!” to a whole new level.

He grabbed his child’s Diego doll, strapped it in to the passenger seat, and headed off down the highway—in the HOV lane.

As you can imagine, Diego was a model passenger, sitting quietly with seat belt buckled, no texting, no emails, no spilled coffee, last minute make-up applications, or attention deficit radio station issues. The ideal travel companion, I would have said.

For those of us who lack an in-depth knowledge of children’s TV, “Go, Diego, Go!” is a tot’s cartoon series and subsequent marketing empire, which includes the doll Diego, obviously. Diego is a spin-off of Dora the Explorer. Additional genealogy can be found at Wikipedia.

But Deigo, it seems, was a little too well behaved on the ride into work. His calm composure and enormous, unblinking eyes gave the Washington state trooper laying in wait on the Interstate 405 onramp, reason to suspect that either something very naughty was going on under the dashboard, or, well, it might be not be human (which speaks volumes about human behavior).

Of course, state troopers are savvy to the fact that people do use the high occupancy lane with only one person in the car—or their children’s dolls in the passenger seat, or maybe even a blow-up doll. So, when Daddy was pulled over, he confessed everything: the truth is always best in these types of situations. He was cited for the HOV lane violation, which no doubt made him late for work after all. 

You know, I think this story might make a good” Go, Diego, Go!” episode: “Diego Goes to Work.” 

Rule #1: Don’t Jilt a Lawyer. Following on from monster brides and bridezillas—there’s now a Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Facing up to 20 years, Bet He’s got Arachnophobia Now

December 6th, 2010. By LucyC

Look what the Mailman Brought! Imagine getting a live tarantula in the mail? Apparently some 500 of them were mailed to the US by one Sven Koppler of Germany. I would think opening any one of those packages would be right up there with encountering someone’s pet snake on a domestic flight…ok, can’t think about that scenario. 

Back to tarantula man. Thirty-seven year old Koppler was illegally dealing in protected species. Who knew? Tarantulas—specifically Mexican red-kneed tarantulas (they have knees?)—are on the endangered species list. FYI —their Latin name is Brachypelma smithi.

“The entire Brachypelma genus is protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES) because it is being threatened by international trade,” the U.S. Attorney’s Office said. “Specimens can only be legally traded if CITES permits first are obtained from the exporting country.” Who wants to trade in tarantulas? I seem to be missing something here…cash maybe? Koppler reportedly made $300,000 selling the spiders.

Thankfully, he caught the attention of special agents with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and U.S. Postal Inspection Service in March, when they discovered about 300 live tarantulas during a routine search of an international package. All things considered, it’s quite remarkable that the spiders survived the trip.

So, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and U.S. Postal Inspection Service set up a sting operation called “Operation Spiderman,” which involved Koppler sending them, unknowingly, hundreds of Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Free Advice: Check Fuel Before Stealing Car*

November 30th, 2010. By LucyC

He’s Not Driving With A Full Tank. Heads up—cars in showrooms do not come with gas, as a man in Albany, Georgia found out recently. Jacory Phillips was arrested by police after the new car he allegedly stole from the showroom floor at Five Star Nissan in Albany ran out of gas during his getaway. This never happens in the movies.

But it doesn’t sound like there was a massive police chase that led to his arrest. Rather Phillips, in full problem-solving mode, began begging for money to buy gas—at a gas station. Logical, but not normal. In fact downright suspicious to some people who called the police to report him.

According to the police, Phillips broke into the dealership Thanksgiving night and drove a 2011 Nissan Altima through the glass showroom doors.”He literally drove it off the showroom floor,” said Albany Police Department spokeswoman Phyllis Banks. “He damaged the doors on the building and then fled the scene.”

Turns out Phillips has been charged and convicted of several petty crimes since 2007, including an incident in 2008 when he allegedly punched his mother. Not sure how the two things are connected except that it’s all bad behavior. 

Take Out Pizza Takes Out Savings. A woman in Bristol, CT, recently paid $2,600 for a pizza, which was supposed to cost $30. Katie Boucher paid by for her pizza with a direct debit bank card, the beginning of all her problems, which were not insignificant.

“The guy at the register was using the credit card,” Katie Boucher told WFSB-TV, Hartford. “He was pushing all kinds of buttons, and my husband knew something fishy was going on. The receipt printed out for $2,600 for our $30.50 pizza.” So Katie and her husband went home and Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Man vs. Jar Lid became Man v. Del Monte and Kroger

November 23rd, 2010. By LucyC

Well, after trying the usual tactics of running the lid under hot water and then hitting it with a rubber handled tool, a man in Michigan lost his battle with a fruit jar lid. He was apparently knocked unconscious when the lid exploded off a jar of Orchard Select mixed fruit and hit him in the face. Gotta watch those plums. 

“It happened so fast. I just had no time to react… I staggered, lost consciousness and fell to the floor. I eventually screamed for my wife,” 56-year old Darryl Alexander said when interviewed during a deposition.

The poor guy ended up in hospital with eye damage and subsequently sued Del Monte Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Del Monte, Kroger, NYC, Tortelicious, Unicycle
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Bake Sale, Boobies and Busted: it’s Tortelicious

November 16th, 2010. By LucyC

This week’s theme seems to be Adults Behaving Badly…

What’s the betting they become bankers when they grow up…a couple of enterprising 13-year old boys in Chappaqua, NY were shut down by police recently for selling cupcakes, cookies, brownies and Rice Krispie treats for $1 each in a local park without a permit.

They didn’t know they needed a permit—which incidentally costs between $150 to $350 for two hours, not including the $1 million insurance certificate which is also required, according to a local paper. The math was definitely not in their favor. Too bad, because according to The Journal News in Westchester County, Andrew DeMarchis, Kevin Graff, and two other friends, Zachary Bass and Daniel Katz, wanted to make enough money to open their own restaurant. Hey, it’s possible. They made $120 on their first day.

But, a local councilman, Michael Wolfensohn, called the police after discovering the profits were not going to charity. And some poor policeman had the unpleasant task of having to tell the boys to dismantle their stall. Andrew DeMarchis’ mother, Suzanne DeMarchis, was called to the park in response to the police call. She said the officer was extremely pleasant. “He said he was sorry to have to do this, but that he was following up on a report filed over the phone by a Town Board member,” she told The Journal News. “Kevin was so upset, he was crying all the whole way home. He was worried if he was going to get arrested or have a criminal record.”

Well, at least the good citizens and councilmen of the neighborhood can rest easy knowing they are no longer under threat from random acts of capitalism—at least not in their backyard…

Good cause is now cause for a lawsuit. I really don’t know where to start with this one—so here it is. A lawsuit was filed against a Pennsylvania school district recently over freedom of speech. The suit was filed by two mothers whose daughters were suspended for wearing rubber “I ♥ boobies!” bracelets. Ok. Now I really do think the inmates are running the asylum.

Used to raise awareness about breast cancer, the bracelets have become tremendously popular, particularly among students. But the phrase—or more likely the word ‘boobies’—has prompted bans on the bracelets all across the US—from Florida to California.

In fact, the American Civil Liberties Union believes the lawsuit is the first in the country over a school’s ban on the bracelets. According to the ACLU, the district banned the bracelets in October. Up until that point the students had been wearing them without serious incident.

Apparently, school officials argue that the slogan is distracting and demeaning, and that some staff feel it trivializes a serious illness. I would have said that’s their problem, frankly. But apparently it’s not—it’s the children’s. They found themselves hauled into the principal’s office, suspended and banned from school dances for a month. Really.

“The First Amendment does not allow schools to censor students’ speech merely because some students and teachers are offended by the non-vulgar educational message, and silencing the speakers because other students may react inappropriately would amount to a constitutionally impermissible heckler’s veto,” the ACLU said in the suit.

Sounds like it’s the educators who are in need of educating.

How many ways can your luck run out? Ask Wendy Singleton, who was arrested after the monster cruise ship Carnival Splendor limped into port in San Diego last Thursday. No sooner had the ship docked than 40-year old Wendy was arrested by police. She was wanted in Las Vegas on a felony grand theft warrant and is now incarcerated in jail. Oh well, at least there’s power and flushing toilets.

I guess she thought she could jump ship quietly somewhere—but apparently all passengers on international cruises are routinely checked to see if there are any warrants outstanding against them. Good to know…a little late for Wendy though.

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »