Posts Tagged ‘ Tortelicious ’

Where Else Would You Stash 7 Bags of Heroin? It’s Tortelicious

July 13th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them. 

Hartford Hat Trick: Rub a Dub Dub, Three Fools in a Flub. I don’t really know where to start with this one—the one-liners come thick and fast. So I think I’ll just get to the facts. Three people were arrested near Hartford, CT, on July 6, having been pulled over by police, presumably because they had not displayed the vehicle’s licence plates properly. But it seems that offense was just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. 

Twenty-six year old James Hatfield, was also driving with a suspended license, and did not have his seatbelt done up (Click-it or Ticket?). Oh, and he was transporting two people, friends presumably, who were holding eight bags of heroin between them. Twenty-three year old William Hindman had a mere seven bags stashed up his buttocks, (I wonder if he was wearing a seatbelt…) and the 22-year old girl, one Kathryn McManus, was holding the other bag. Needless to say they were charged for possession of drug paraphernalia. Where was the paraphernalia? 

I think these three get full marks for desperation, a few marks for execution, and no marks for observation. 

Bet He Watches Honeymooners Reruns, Too. Speaking of execution, many people harbour odd fantasies but a 19-year old man from Washington DC was arrested over the weekend Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Emerging Issues | No Comments »

Tortelicious: Don’t Piss Off Major League Eating

July 6th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.

You need a contract for that dog! This is just too bizarre. Takeru Kobayashi, a Japanese eating champion (who knew there was such a thing?) was arrested at a July Fourth hot dog-eating contest this weekend, because, if I’m getting this right, of a contract dispute. 

It seems that Kobayashi had refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating, which apparently is similar to the NFL.  According to a report by AP, Kobayashi refused to sign the contract because he “wanted to be free to enter contests sanctioned by other groups.” (btw, that’s Kobayashi, and his arch-rival Joey Chestnut, downing some shrimp wonton in Singapore recently—hey, they get around).

OK—how on earth do people get involved in this stuff? I don’t remember hearing anything about career options associated with overeating when I was in high school, which admittedly was some time ago. But still.

Kobayashi’s crime, apparently, involved jumping on stage (wearing a T-shirt which said “Free Kobi” (is there a Disney picture in his future?) at the annual Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, and then diving into some serious power eating. But because hadn’t signed the contract he was banned from the contest.

Oh, by the way—first prize has a purse of $20,000.

I don’t know what to say.

AP, in the tradition of best investigative journalism, interviewed Kobayahsi: “I was there as a Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

She was Hot, Sweaty, Dirty and Very Slippery (yep, it’s Tortelicious)

June 29th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.

But did she Stick to the Car Seats? Is there something in the water? Is the moon full? Are we witnessing the birth of a new social movement? This is the second car theft involving nude or partially nude women that I’ve seen in the last two months. Maybe it cuts down on the drag—speeds up the get away? Whatever the reasoning—it’s not very solid—as both women got caught. Unlike Brandi Smith, the woman who stole a bottle of wine in Nevada—who was only topless (yes, now it’s only), Sylvina Beagley our latest nude car thief, raised the bar—or would that be lowered?—She stole two cars, starkers, before being tasered (was that really necessary?) and subsequently arrested. 

Ms. Beagley, apparently in her thirties, stole the first car from a highway worker who was posting a sign on the side of the road. She stopped the car she was currently driving, got out and stole the highway worker’s vehicle. So, in the tradition of the best Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton skits, the road worker got into Beagley’s car and chased her down highway 111 somewhere in or near West Valley, Utah. 

The road worker managed to contact the local police who tracked her down. Imagine calling that one in… 

So two police were dispatched and took up the chase. The traveling party eventually came to a standstill in the woods. The officers attempted to arrest Ms. Beagley but failed, according to police reports, because the sweat and dirt on the woman’s body prevented the officers from getting a good grip on her (seriously, that headline above is a quote from the police captain). Ok, I’m not touching that one. 

Beagley managed to escape in the police cruiser—making it a whopping 50 or so Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »

Couldn’t Have Been the Chalupa: In a Slump at Taco Bell

June 22nd, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.  

Continuing on with our Drive-thru theme from last week—but sadly no food fights to report this week. Instead, a rather sad tale of a woman who passed out in a Tennessee Taco Bell drive-thru. 

Was it slow service or a really tired menu? (bad, I know). 

Well, neither, as it turns out. The police were called out, presumably by a Taco Bell employee, when the 34-year old woman was found slumped over the wheel of her car with the engine running. Yup, that would certainly warrant some attention. 

The police found several open cases of beer and pill bottles in her car. Always a winning combination, not guaranteed to get you through your day in the best of shape. 

Now there were also two passengers in the car, who presumably were in similar shape, since no one offered to take the wheel. All three were arrested—the woman driving for DUI—and her two passengers for being in possession of pills for which they did not have prescriptions. Some Mother’s Little Helpers—perhaps? 

Well, whatever you want to say about working in a fast food joint—it certainly doesn’t seem dull…

Just not feeling the love at the nudist colony. Seems kind of strange that someone would be concerned with towels at a nudist colony, but that’s precisely what happened here. Here being the Lake O’ the Woods Camp nudist colony in Indiana.

Now, while I’ve never actually been to a nudist camp, I always got the sense that love and peace and harmony were part and parcel of communing in one’s most natural state. Matter of fact, Lake O’ the Woods seems quite fond of the tagline, “Welcome all ye who seek sunshine and rest for here they are abundant.” Not exactly a what one perceives as a magnet for those with anger management issues. Unless, of course, you’re this guy.

James Schodtler, a 61-year old retired Chicago police officer and apparent “social nudist”, was at Lake O’ the Woods where he must’ve claimed Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | 2 Comments »

Feedback is Food Back at Wendy’s Drive-Thru (it’s Tortelicious)

June 15th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.  

Wendy’s…Wendy’s what went wrong…oh so wrong? What is it about Wendy’s fast food? Not too long ago I wrote about an altercation at a Wendy’s  involving a couple of taser-totin‘ girlies who decided to re-write the protocol on customer complaints. Needless to say it all ended rather badly. 

Well—it seems that showing the employees instead of telling the manager about your bad experience is becoming all the rage (bad pun, I know) in fine fast food establishments across the US. Case in point, a fight broke out recently at a drive-through Wendy’s in Kalamazoo, MI, between four car-bound customers and the employee who handed them their order. 

However, the customers apparently claimed the order was wrong, so they threw drinks, hamburgers and fries at employee inside the booth. Now that’s effective problem solving. No? 

Umm… maybe not. The employee, probably deciding that his or her minimum wage didn’t really cover taking this kind of abuse, hurled a drink, fries and ketchup back at the car and hit a home run. So, the customers got out of their car and continued the food fight inside the restaurant. (I use the term loosely). But this time, the fight was a little more evenly matched as more employees became involved. 

Ok—you know what—this is just a little more excitement than any patron really needs. 

Anyway, back to the story. The police arrived, as somebody evidently had the initiative to call them, and two of the ‘customers’ were arrested. The employees reportedly told the police there had been a “communications breakdown.” Ya think? 

Maybe somebody should be checking the ingredients in these foods a little more carefully… 

She likes men in uniform? I love this—talk about redefining the term “emergency”. A 57-year old woman in Alliance, OH decided to call 911 to look for a husband—not her husband—a husband. She called five times.

Hey—desperate times call for desperate measures. (Personally, I would say count your blessings). 

You can imagine the poor dispatcher who took the calls. She was reportedly quite flabbergasted by the request—as any sane person would be, for a number of reasons….So, Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Tortelicious
Posted in Totally Tortelicious | No Comments »