Posts Tagged ‘ Totally Tortelicious ’
Who’ll Show Up if Siri has to go to Court?
August 15th, 2014. By LucyC
Siri, that often frustrating, sometimes helpful help function embedded on Apple technologies may have her day in court. Of course, the lawyers are still wrangling over whether or not Siri’s potential role in a murder is admissible in court.
When I think of Siri, I can’t help thinking of that anonymous version played so well by Scarlett Johansson in the recent movie “Her” (Man, was she efficient!) If Johansson’s version of the digital Dora had been on the job, the murder charges against Pedro Bravo might never have materialized. However, that is not the case. And on that note—to the case—the murder trial of Pedro Bravo who allegedly murdered his roommate, friend and fellow student Christian Aguilar and then asked Siri for help on how to hide the body.
The backstory is that Bravo allegedly strangled Aguilar in his SUV while in the parking lot of WalMart. Yes—why do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home? Both men are/were students at the University of Florida. The incident reportedly took place on or around September 20, 2012. After 20-year old Bravo murdered his friend, he is then alleged to have driven to a forest in nearby Levy County to bury Aguilar, whose body was later found with metallic tape looped around his wrists and near his feet.
Original? No. And the reason for that may be Bravo’s virtual accomplice. Apparently, investigators have produced evidence which show that at the time of Aguilar’s murder Bravo woke Siri on his iPhone saying “I need to hide my roommate.” (wonder if the programmers at Apple anticipated that one…)
It must have seemed like a reasonable idea at the time—as reasonable as murdering your roommate for dating your ex-girlfriend.
According to the Palm Beach Post, Siri responded to Bravo’s request, giving suggestions like: “Swamps. Reservoirs. Metal foundries. Dumps.”
Of course cell phone activity is trackable, and apparently prosecutors have presented evidence that Bravo was using his cell phone in locations and times that contradict his alibi.
According to the Gainsville Sun, investigators believe Bravo also activated his iPhone’s flashlight function during the time he was burying Aguilar’s body in the woods. A useful app, by the way—I use mine in to read menus in dimly lit restaurants …
I digress.
So, all this has kicked up a firestorm of controversy over whether or not Siri’s data is admissible in court.
Speaking to the Sun, defense attorney Stephen Bernstein said that the iPhone evidence—including location data obtained by Verizon— should not be shown to a jury because the employee who prepared the data wasn’t called to testify. Bravo has a constitutional right under the Sixth Amendment to confront his accusers in criminal court. This right typically works with the common law rule against allowing hearsay evidence.
So, if Bravo ‘s attorneys are unable to question the Verizon technician(s) who prepared the iPhone/Siri data, including which cell towers Bravo’s iPhone connected to the night of the murder, Bravo could argue he has no way to test the reliability of that evidence. In which case, Bravo’s camp may be able to appeal the introduction of the cell site data, which is currently a matter of contention in federal court.
But what about Siri? Apparently, if the data is not unduly prejudicial (how could the statement “I need to hide my roommate” not be?) and is not offered to prove the allegation that Bravo did effectively make the request of Siri, (how would that work?) then the Siri evidence may be properly admitted. Um.
So, is Siri a virtual accomplice? I think not, but at some point all this smart technology really could end up burying the lot of us.
What’s in a Paint Name? Discrimination, Wrongful Termination, Retaliation…and more!
August 6th, 2014. By AbiK
It’s not often that jurisprudence and home decor intersect. After all, let’s face it, one look at most attorney offices will tell you to look elsewhere for interior design inspiration. But this case—brought to us all compliments of a Mr. Clinton Tucker—is sure to rock the very foundation of the home improvement industry (not).
But I’m ahead of myself so let’s back things up a bit…
Clinton Tucker is a former Benjamin Moore employee who has filed a complaint in Essex County Court (NJ) alleging that the paint company fired him after he repeatedly complained about the “despicable and racially insulting paint colors called ‘Clinton Brown’ and ‘Tucker Chocolate.'” Tucker Chocolate, for those who don’t have a bedside copy of “Paint and Coating News“, is a paint color in the Benjamin Moore historical Williamsburg collection. In the filing, Clinton Tucker refers to himself as an African-American homosexual male—btw, fwiw—and he’s seeking damages for discrimination, retaliation and a hostile work environment.
Without going too deeply into this one, it sounds like a classic “you say ‘to-MAY-to’, I say ‘to-MAH-to'” type of case—you know, where it’s a matter of individual perception. After all, Clinton Brown sounds more to me like the shade of something Hillary (as in Clinton, as in the more caucasion-looking woman who may be running for President) would’ve asked Ralph Lauren to whip up in silk faille for some fete or soiree in the State Dining Room.
But no, Clinton Tucker, being African-American, apparently sees this quite differently—almost as if the Benjamin Moore design team named the Clinton Brown shade with only Mr. Tucker himself in mind! And of course, that same team looked no further than Mr. Tucker for the inspiration in naming their other brown color, “Tucker Chocolate”—coincidence? Hell no—and it HAD to be a racial slur…Never mind that the Williamsburg collection also has a T
ucker Orange and Tucker Gray…where’s a gray-haired octogenarian filing a paint name discrimination suit when you need him/her?? Where the heck is the AARP on THIS one, huh??
Oh wait a minute—was that Tucker thing some sort of theme? Why yes it was—for a certain St. George Tucker. THIS Tucker (1752-1827) wound up in Virginia (funny, that’s where Williamsburg is!) by way of Bermuda to become a lawyer (who knew?). Here’s another funny thing—according to just about every online source that was checked for this post, St. George Tucker ‘urged for the abolishment of slavery’. Yes, he authored a pamphlet, “A Dissertation on Slavery: With A Proposal for the Gradual Abolition of It in the State of Virginia“.
So here’s the plot line for this lawsuit so far: Benjamin Moore develops a wide range of paint colors under the umbrella “Williamsburg”. In it, there are at least three colors named after, or in honor of, St. George Tucker—a seemingly respectable Virginian. While St. George Tucker—a would-be abolitionist—is rolling in his grave, a modern-day Clinton Tucker (no known relation to St. George) is suing Benjamin Moore claiming that the paint named for a white pro-abolition dude was actually some inside joke (ha-ha) meant as a racial slur. Are you still with me?
Well, perhaps the real story here is this excerpt from the filing that was re-printed at Courthouse News:
“Tucker claims that “despite his value, accomplishments and productivity for the company, the plaintiff was repeatedly denied opportunities for promotion and growth by BM due to his race” and that “despite spending countless hours in the office, the plaintiff was only getting paid for a 40-hour week…Tucker claims that Benjamin Moore eventually wrongfully terminated him in March 2014, but “retained Tucker’s two white, blonde-haired and blue-eyed subordinates.”
According to Tucker’s LinkedIn profile, he started at BM in June 2011—so he was there for 2 years, 9 months. And, according to a recommendation he received (see below), he actually had been promoted. The recommendation also makes you wonder if those “countless hours” were required, or just Tucker’s regular M.O…
“Clinton is the guy you want on your team when you need results. NO is just not an option. He will dig deep for data and map out a solution or track down an answer while jumping hurdles to do it. As part of the Digital Marketing team he brought a deep analysis of our data that we hadn’t seen before that drove results across all of our digital properties. His expertise in eCommerce helped set the stage for future growth and Clinton demonstrated leadership qualities well deserving of the promotion he received.” – Lisa Sharp, Digital Manager at SRSoft, who previously indirectly managed Clinton at BM
Regardless, if this has any legs, I’m thinking of letting my friend—the one who consistently robs the cradle, so to speak—know that she may have to find a lawyer and file a discrimination suit…Benjamin Moore also has a paint named “Cougar Brown”.
Totally Tortelicious: Is this Man Adam Sandler’s ‘Anger Management’ Successor?
April 15th, 2014. By AbiK
Where the hell is Jack Nicholson when you need him? The plaintiff in this case may benefit from some counseling—not the legal type—as he’s apparently got that—but the type that Nicholson doled out in the movie, “Anger Management” (see his Goosfraba therapy in action above.)
Seems Geary Trigleth, plaintiff in a contract law dispute, was quite the colorful character in his recent deposition. And it started when he walked in wearing a t-shirt that screamed, “f*ck you YOU f*cking f*ck”—that’s our man, shown below. Yes, many a plaintiff—and defendant—has thought of showing up at his deposition or in court and giving a few people the F-bomb—but few actually dare to do it. Trigleth is the man, though, and he did.
Things got more interesting from there on as the deposition proceeded at Scheef & Stone law firm in Frisco, TX.
In eloquent terms nonpareil, Trigleth went on to provide passionate commentary regarding defendant Robert Couch.
According to court documents, in referring to Couch, Trigleth stated he was “going to tie that thick necked mother f*cker to a pole and f*ck him up the *ss until he squeals like a pig.”
One can only question whether Trigleth has experience with such. Regardless, speaking of personal relationships, the questioning did at one point veer into Trigleth’s own pursuit of pleasure—or sorry, his possible pursuit of a significant other who just happens to come via mail order (we’re guessing Match.com and Zoosk were off-limits for Trigleth given his online social reach is nil—literally—he has a profile on LinkedIn, but zero connections and his FB friends number 27—so maybe he off-shored love, as one does in these situations).
According to court docs, Attorney J. Mitchell Little started to ask Trigleth a number of relevant questions concerning his status as an accredited investor. Here’s how that went:
Q: Mr. Trigleth, what was the·purpose of the wire transfer that was paid? (Note: Mr. Trigleth also refused to answer and became very agitated at a line of questioning about a prior dispute with Texas Capital Bank where he was alleged to have transferred money for the purpose of acquiring a mail order bride.)
A: Are you gay?
Q: Are you going to answer my question?
A: Are you going to answer my question?
Q: I am here to ask questions.
A: I am here to ask you a question. Are you gay?
Geez. I don’t know—after a while one begins to wonder if a yes or no question starts to sound like a proposition there—or at the very least a fixation of sorts—hey, Little’s an attractive guy and he does have over 500 connections on LinkedIn. But as a little sidenote lest you question the line of questioning in the deposition…here’s a testimonial from Trigleth found over at 1st International Marriage Network (btw, IMBRA stands for International Marriage Broker Regulation Act):
From: Geary Trigleth
Sent: Friday, March 05, 2010 10:32 AM
To: Vasiliy Savkin
Subject: Re: IMBRA report prepared at NatashaClub site
Vasiliy,
Thank you so much for your prompt response and assistance. I enjoy your services and site and compliment the efficiency and strategy of the functionality of the site and services supported! I truly feel your attempt to support the members and strategically protect all involved to meet your business needs and empower the site members to employ there powers of there needs is very efficient and effective! I truly appreciate the services rendered and hope to maintain a continual working relationship in the future. My appreciation!
gt
Yessiree, sounds like someone’s been trying to off-shore some lovin’…
Who knows where it all nets out, but suffice to say it’s one of those court appearances we’d love to be an extra Montblanc ink cartridge lying on counsel’s table for…
Judge: Dimwit Driver to wear Idiot Sign for Stupid Traffic Move
November 9th, 2012. By AbiK
We’ve seen a lot of stupidity on the pages of our Totally Tortelicious posts–but we continue to be amazed at the extent some folks will go to in an attempt to beat the system somehow.
Take Shena Hardin.
Ms. Hardin apparently doesn’t like waiting those few precious minutes we all have to wait when a school bus comes to a stop, puts on those flashing red lights and shoves that little stop sign out. Most of us just stop (hello, child safety)—but Shena? No, that little stop sign might just as well have been the street version of a toreador’s handkerchief. Only she wasn’t about to charge the thing, she had a better plan!
Ms. Hardin thought she’d found a way to deal with her daily annoyance of getting stuck behind that damn school bus. She decided she’d go around the bus—but not on the street as, well, that might get her a ticket of course. Hell no—she took the sidewalk instead!
That’s right—she took the sidewalk. In her car. Drove right down the middle of it. (See the video above). And according to WPTV News Channel 5, she did this daily—so it wasn’t just some “I’ll duck down, hit the gas, go around the bus and hope nobody sees me—just this once” kind of thing. No—this was her longer-term solution to waiting for that damn bus to get moving.
It gets better.
Ms. Hardin forgot that we live in an age of smart phones—you know how they have those handy built-in cameras and all. So the Cleveland Metropolitan School District bus driver, Uriah Herron, decided to take a little video of Shena’s slick move.
Seriously—look at the video above. That’s Shena there—cruising right around the school bus on the sidewalk on E. 38th Street between Superior and Payne Avenues in Cleveland. Just listen to the kids on the bus—the laughs, the OMGs and WTFs.
‘Ozzy made me do it’ not the Best Defense…
January 4th, 2011. By LucyC
Ozzy made me do it! A man in Ohio who was arrested for drunken-driving is blaming his arrest on Ozzy Osbourne. Really? How does that work?
Arrested for DUI on Christmas Eve, William Liston reportedly told police officers, “Ozzy Osbourne and his music made me do it.” Just on the off chance you’re not acquainted with Ozzy’s contribution to world music, he’s the lead singer of the heavy metal band Black Sabbath, which was big in the 1970s, as I recall, and he also works as a solo artist with titles like “Paranoid” and “Road to Nowhere.” Enough said, I think.
So, Liston is awaiting arraignment. And, it turns out that he pled not guilty earlier that week to charges of breaking into a medical office. No relation to the drunk driving case. He was released on a bond.
Maybe Led Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused” would have been a more appropriate music choice…
Speaking of ’70’s music, how ’bout some CSN Deja Vu? Sometimes, the answer is right there in front of you—as in this situation. Some bright spark thought he would do a quick drive-through robbery of a fast-food joint in Southern California.
So he rolls up to the drive through window and—I’m guessing—says—”this is a robbery—give me your money” (how complicated can it be?) But that’s when things started to go wrong— Read the rest of this entry »
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