Are you tired of living alone, even though you are classed as a “social” pig? And do you feel for your goldfish friend, which is suffering mistreatment by having four open sides in his / her / their aquarium, when it is obvious that they need shelter and such shelter is being denied?
If so, Bunky, you need a lawyer. And even though you can’t understand a word I’m saying, it is my duty to tell you that you need to move to Switzerland. Go. Go now. Pack up your pellets and skedaddle to Zurich.
Switzerland is on your side.
In fact, the Swiss will hold a public referendum in March as to whether domesticated creatures have the right to be represented by lawyers in court.
Not that the government there wants that. Even the Swiss authorities think that’s going a bit far, even though the government altered its constitution last year to protect the dignity of plant life and crafted a law in 2009 establishing rights for domesticated creatures such as canaries and goldfish.
And Guinea pigs. Yes, you.
If the referendum is approved, every canton in Switzerland will be obliged to appoint legal counsel to represent pets and farm animals, in an effort to defend them from abuse.
It all started in 2007 when the canton of Zurich appointed lawyer Antoine Goetschel (don’t worry about the spelling—you’re a Guinea pig after all, we’ll help you fill in the forms when the time comes) as an animal advocate as an experiment. That move motivated animal welfare groups to mount a campaign for a referendum to install similar officials across Switzerland.
Activists gathered the required number of signatures of support needed as a pre-requisite to a referendum.
The government has its doubts. So too, do farmers associations and pet breeders, who fear more strict regulations. The ‘No’ side has established a group known as ‘No to the Useless Animal Lawyers’ Initiative.’
It should be noted that in the Middle Ages, locusts and frogs were summoned to court to answer for their crimes of infestation.
Not that you, Guinea pig, will ever have to physically appear in court as a witness if the crusty old guy next door complains to your owner that you’re living a solitary existence.
However, take heart in the knowledge that in Switzerland-while you go about your day sleeping, shedding and trying to figure out what is a food pellet and what is a poop-a lawyer could be representing your interests in court.
For more, log onto LawyersandGuineapigs.com
Here’s the down and dirty on the insurer price fixing class action settlement imposed on Zurich Financial Services and Arthur J. Gallagher & Co.—the settlement was upheld on Tuesday after going through an appeal process stemming from the original 2006 settlement ruling. The upheld settlement was reported on in the NJ Law Journal.
[By the way, if you want to read about Zurich’s history with price fixing, see previous Zurich articles here]
$150 million, plus $29.9 million in legal fees and costs, paid by the insurance companies as follows:
$122 million to be paid by Zurich Financial Services
$28 million to be paid by Gallagher & Co.
$29.9 million to be paid separately by Zurich to plaintiffs’ lawyers
3.79 million potential class members–maybe more, according to estimates
51.7% goes to Zurich policyholders who bought excess casualty insurance from 2001 to 2004
33.9% to policyholders who bought other lines of insurance or excess policies at other times
9% to non-policyholders who were affected by the alleged wrongdoing
10…California, Florida, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, West Virginia