Lisa Tri, from Buffalo, Minnesota was sexually and physically abused by her mother's ex-fiance when she was 10 years old. "He had me so scared that I didn't tell anyone," says Lisa.
"Besides, nobody would believe me - he worked for a minimum security correctional facility in Redwing, Minnesota and had me so brainwashed I didn't even tell my Mom until we moved away," Lisa says. The abuse started in 1980 and continued until Lisa's mother left him in August, 1986. She finally told her mother what he had done to her in 1991.
"My Mom was all I had; my Dad was an alcoholic and he left home when I was three...I didn't tell my Mom what was happening because I was afraid that she would have killed him," says Lisa. And then she wouldn't even have a mother.
At that time, Lisa believed that if anything did transpire, if she filed complaints, it would have been too late to press charges. "But there are two other girls that I know of who have been abused by this man," she says. And now she is doing something about it.
"I found out about the girls from my Mom because he got picked up at work. She also worked at the correctional facility and he was out on bail for hurting these little girls. So I called the attorneys down in Redwing and they were so happy to hear from me. 'I just knew there was someone else out there,' said the attorney for the girls.
"In 2003 I went to their pre-trial hearing as a witness against this guy, so I could finally do something about him. I sat in the hearing for almost four hours answering questions. The judge said my testimony would be too damaging for the jury to hear it!"
There were two separate trials. In the first trial, he was accused of sexual misconduct to a minor and spent 180 days in jail. In the second trial he was found not guilty on a technicality. The girls were five and six years old when these incidents were alleged to have taken place.
"The girls are 13 and 15 now and they were five and six when their mother moved out to his place, taking the girls with her. He used to chase them around the house with a pool stick... Apparently another woman had a few girls who he molested but she wouldn't talk. We don't know what he did to her.
"I still have problems and I am now 37 years old. I sent out more than 30 letters to the Government and officials in the State of Minnesota for what he did to me and these girls. One senator replied and said it was too bad it happened to me but nobody could do anything about it. I still have the letter.
"The attorney general's office sent me 12 pages of forms, and said I could file a civil suit as long as it was within the next six years, because I didn't find out until 2003 that he had caused me mental damage. I have been diagnosed with schizoid-borderline personality disorder [which is characterized by a lifelong pattern of indifference to others and social isolation] and I also have anxiety disorder and suffer from anorexia and it all stems from what happened to me.
"I have until 2009 to file. I can never get my childhood back. He hit me with cowbells, made me touch him and said it was my punishment. This guy got away scott free; he is walking around out there somewhere.
"I have had nothing but relationship problems; I never married and have two kids. It is 17 years later and I still have nightmares to this day. He is in Redwing, I have seen him in the street. There is a good chance of running into him; he used to work at [a local] restaurant as a host. One night my Mom and I went out and he was working. He stood at the opposite end of the room and stared at me the whole time. I had a few drinks and made a few comments. Then I made a scene - a little one, enough that everyone knew he was looking at me. I wanted to scream to everyone, tell them what he did to me, tell the whole world what he did to these girls. It makes it really hard some days to move on - this is one time when the system didn't work.
I am going to file this civil suit, most definitely I'm going through with it. And depending upon how much I get, I am going to set up a trust fund for the two girls. He still has his parent's 80 acre farm, so I hope the court orders him to sell. If it goes in my favor, they will have a trust fund and have a better life than I had; I never had a spot where I found safety.
"I was a stripper for five years and feel I ended up going that direction because of what happened to me. But today I have two wonderful boys - 14 and 16, and finally a wonderful boyfriend. I haven't told him in detail what happened but he knows when the nightmares come. He hears me talking and screaming in my sleep. And I have a support system: the boys know their Mommy was abused and know where my difficulties stem from. So if Mommy flips or freaks out, they understand why.
"I also have a good job - almost four years, the longest I have ever held a job, as parts manager for a trucking company. With help, and good people surrounding me, I can be OK.
"I just want to see this man punished for what he has done."