5 Things You Should Know About Divorce

Santa Clara, CAWhen two people decide to get married, it is with the intention of spending their lives together. However, sometimes things don't work out as planned and couples may find themselves facing the difficult decision of divorce.  Divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience, but it's important to have a basic understanding of the divorce process in order to make informed decisions. Here are five things you should know about divorce.

Know the Legal Matters

Of course, you can’t proceed with divorce without tackling the legal matters--from dividing marital assets to child support and even who will have custody of any pets. These legal matters can take some time to resolve and they can be complex. Once a divorcing couple has settled these legal matters, their divorce proceedings should go as smoothly as possible.  Also, you should know that divorce laws vary state by state, so it would only be logical to think that the divorce requirements would also vary. That said, you can talk to your divorce lawyers about what you need to submit to proceed with the divorce. With that in mind, here are the following legal matters you should keep in mind as they are the most common ones. Have a look.

• Residency requirements: Most states would require a spouse to live in the current state that you’re living in before you’re able to file for a divorce. The period is usually six months to a year. 
• Grounds of divorce: Of course, the government will only allow you to file for a divorce with a good reason. Most states recognize two different types of grounds for divorce: fault-based and no-fault grounds. 
• Child custody: If the couple has children, the divorce process will involve deciding which parent is more suitable to care for them. 
• Property division usually involves dividing properties, assets, and debts between spouses.
• Spousal support: In some cases, one spouse will be required to send support to the other after the divorce. This will be decided after considering factors such as income, the length of the marriage, etc.

Don’t Believe Everything Other People Tell You About Divorce

Your divorced friends might give you advice on what to do during a divorce, but don’t believe everything they say. This is because their information might be misleading or outright wrong. Every divorce has different circumstances.  Your friends may believe their divorce proceedings are typical, so they might give you insight, but be wary. Note that not all couples are the same, and you should look at divorce the same way. It might sound good at first, but remember, every divorce has its own reasons. Although some things might be similar, in its core, it’s vastly different.

The Court Proceeding Will Not Be What You Expected

One spouse might threaten to terminate negotiations and head to court when things go wrong in divorce. This is perhaps the last thing you want because going to court will cost you a lot of time and money--the same money which many couples usually go to court for. Not only that, the expense of the trials will cost you a lot, which can deplete the same money that you’re both going to court to fight for.  Probably the most annoying part is the amount of court days you’ll have to endure. Even small matters like dividing jewelry can take a few days of court. And after spending a lot of time and money, you will still most likely end up in front of the judge, totally unsure of how the judge will rule. 

There are Alternatives to Court

With all that said in the previous section, the court is not the be-all and end-all of divorce proceedings, even though it’s the most common place people resort to when things are going downhill in their divorce proceedings.  One alternative method you can opt for instead of the court is a mediator. A mediator is a neutral party specially trained in divorce cases. They often employ personal negotiations and help the couple settle their divorce amicably. Of course, the mediator will suggest that both parties consult with their lawyers before showing their cards. 

Your Kids Aren’t the Ones Divorced

It’s easy for people in emotional turmoil to get carried away easily. When this happens, the well-being of their children might be put on the back burner of their brains. Having their parents divorce is traumatising enough for kids, but their parents screaming profanities at each other? That can have additional negative effects on the kids.  One thing you also have to remember is that even though you and your former partner are divorced, your kids will still want to see them. It might be hard to swallow, but you must still do it. This is, of course, if the other parent doesn’t have a history of neglect and abuse. After the divorce proceedings, it’s usually wise for your kids to go to therapy. You might also want to book one for yourself.

Final Words

Filing for divorce is a complex emotional process, not just for you and your partner but also for your kids. With so many factors to consider, you should be prepared for anything that might come up, especially if you’re sure that things will end up in court. It’s always good to take a few steps back and ensure you’re in the correct headspace for future things.