Bet you can’t Shoplift $50 from Wal-Mart

February 28th, 2011. By LucyC

But $42.82 does go a long way at Wal-Mart…Police in New Jersey had a rather interesting encounter recently with a shoplifter who, when apprehended, explained that ‘his friends made him do it’. That is, he lost a bet, the penalty for which was to steal $50 worth of merchandise from Wal-Mart—or run naked through the streets.

Bit of a no-brainer as to which option he thought less challenging. But it turns out that 58-year old Irwin Krakow has, in addition to some lousy friends and poor judgement, a wee problem with math. He only stole $42.82 cents worth of stuff. 

Apparently he later admitted to the police that he regretted his choice of penalty—because the fine for running naked through the streets “would have been smaller.”  If he’d done his naked sprint during a snow storm chances are pretty good he wouldn’t have been arrested. In fact, it’s entirely possible he could have become a social media phenomenon. He could have become a celebrity and had a whole new career, done the talk show circuit, appeared on the Oscars, signed big fat product endorsement contracts, signed a record deal, done his own video, run for mayor, and pretty much retired in a couple of years, before the whole thing got too old. Oh well. Maybe next time. 

Weighty matter, costly matter? As for this guy, well, what can I say but ‘good luck mate’.  A 308 lb man in Britain is suing the National Health Service because they refused to pay for gastric bypass surgery. For him. 

His argument is that the surgery would save the UK government money because they would no longer have to pay for the fists-full of medications he currently takes for weight-related illnesses. And to think, had he been a US citizen, he might have been able to ‘qualify’ for the newly approved Allergan lapband—the one that broadens (pardon the pun) the number of folks who can now get it by allowing lower weight requirements. Well, if all else fails he could always go on a diet. 

Practice what you preach? Now this is almost too funny to be true—a former chapter president for Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD) was arrested in Gainesville, FL, recently for—you guessed it—drunk driving. Nice one.

According to a local paper, 48-year old Debra Oberlin, who was a three-year chapter president in the 1990s and is now a realtor (I’d be drinking too), was pulled over around 1:10 am, by police officers who watched her vehicle ‘veer across lanes of traffic.’ That’s always exciting.

Turns out she smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot and dilated eyes and, the kicker—failed the breathalyser—that is after failing a field sobriety test. The records show she had blood alcohol levels of .234 and .239—nearly three times the state’s legal limit of .08. 

Having been caught red-eyed as it were, she confessed to having drunk four beers before putting the key in the ignition and heading out on the highway.

Nice to know that the message is getting through.

Georgia’s Girl Scout Crackdown. We’ve being seeing this a lot more lately—folks trying to sell things sans permits and getting into trouble for it. Even with the Girl Scouts. Today, it happened in Savannah, GA—right in front of Juliette Low’s house of all places. And apparently, another small group of Georgia Girl Scouts set up a cookie table in strip mall—in Villa Rica, Georgia, just west of Atlanta—which attracted the attention of a local police officer.

The officer discovered that the girls didn’t have a permit to sell their Thin Mints and shut them down. Hey—maybe he was denied access to the Girl Scouts when he was a boy.

In any event, the girls thought they were on their way to jail, as they folded up their table and packed their goodies away. But town officials found out about the situation and issued the Scouts a permit, and an apology. I wonder if the officer went back to buy some goodies.

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Monday, February 28th, 2011 at 8:08 pm and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.