Burglar gets in, gets Loaded, gets Stuck

January 11th, 2011. By LucyC

Looks like 2011 is off to a good start in the “are you kidding?” category.

And I’m Wasted And I Can’t Find My Way Home…I really don’t know where to start with this one. A 44-year old would-be—no—make that actual—burglar called the cops because he needed help getting out of the house he was trying to rob.

John Finch of Wilmington, Delaware (that’s him as he appeared on-screen at CBS/Philly news), broke into a house he had in fact broken into before. Not uncommon. However, the homeowner was obviously expecting a repeat performance and had the locks changed. The new security system required a key to unlock doors and windows, from the inside as well as the outside, apparently. So Finch was forced to climb through a window to gain entry. No idea how he figured that out.

Anyway, so far, so good from Finch’s perspective. And the party just got better once he had gained entry—because he discovered a fully stocked bar.

But, all good things must come to an end, as the saying goes. And after Finch had managed to empty three bottles of gin and two of whiskey he decided this party was over with and tried to leave. Not surprisingly, he couldn’t find his way out of the house, and was too drunk to crawl back out the window he had come in through.

So he called 911 for help. Now that would have been an interesting call.

The police came, they saw, and they arrested Finch, for both burglaries, then they took him to the hospital. Inspiring, isn’t it?

Can He Make It 5 For 5? This guy must really need the money. So far he’s robbed four banks in four cities around the Pheonix, Arizona area since October, asking for denominations that don’t exist.

In fact, he’s been dubbed the $60 bandit, because during one of the bank robberies he asked for $60 and $40 bills— neither of which exist. Maybe he’s just been using ATMs for too long—hasn’t seen anything over a $20 for a while.

He’s still at large—last robbery was December 23 when he reportedly walked into a Gilbert Bank of America and handed the teller a note saying he was armed and wanted money. The teller gave him an unknown amount of cash—hopefully it wasn’t in $100s.

Terror On A Catwalk? And now for a bit of foreign frivolity—German style. A dominatrix in a cat suit who was walking her client down a city street actually caused a terror scare. Thing was, her client was wearing a latex suit and a gas mask. Is that still within the realm of kinky?

Apparently some passers-by were so alarmed by what they saw they called the police, fearing there may have been a poison gas attack underway. I can just imagine the evening news!

I’m reminded of that expression—”Get a Room!”

SWAT Not. Imagine being at a stake-out for armed robbery for six and half hours—that’s a lot of coffee and donuts—only to discover the guy you’re after may have already left the building. Well, a SWAT team in New Hampshire recently pulled those hours, waiting for the robbery suspect to show some signs of life.

Thing was, the suspect was unconscious, inside his own house, from a drug overdose. The police were apparently told by another occupant of the house that the guy they wanted was out cold. But they decided to play it safe, sending in a camera robot to determine if it was safe to go in.

That must have been some wake-up call!

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, January 11th, 2011 at 5:15 pm and is filed under Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.