Tortelicious: Car Keys Locked in Car? Rob a Bank!

July 26th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them. 

Three Strikes… and a Bit…and You’re Out! A woman in Montana, who successfully carried out two bank robberies struck out on number three. Why? Well, she locked her keys in her getaway car, so why not? Ok, so I won’t feel quite so stupid next time I discover I’ve done the same thing in a very public place—like the supermarket parking lot. 

Maybe this woman was a bit distracted (although I’m not quite sure what would take your mind off getting away immediately), or just blasé about her success and got careless. Not only had she committed two robberies, she had also managed to escape while in captivity—as the expression goes. 

Apparently she was caught—at some point—but while under arrest she complained of feeling unwell and she was taken to the hospital. And, low and behold, didn’t she just make a miraculous recovery and check herself out. Free to rob another bank. Which she did. 

Needless to say she’s in custody now—but for how long is anyone’s guess.

Not Feeling the Love? Better duck. A 23-year old in Iowa City was reportedly overtaken by the urge to hug someone one Sunday afternoon not too long ago. Whether this was a special someone or not, I don’t know, and whether there was any back story to this—I also don’t know. Clearly something was going on because when the hugger went to hug the huggee, the huggee spurned him! So, the hugger did what any self-respecting child would do and punched the huggee! Nice.

Where in the Emily Post book of etiquette does that appear?

So the police became involved—responding to a report of someone being aggressive and punching cars. That’s always helpful—I do that when I’ve locked myself out of my car—but in this case, just a tad extreme, I think. 

Apparently the guy had a blood alcohol level of. 086 (gee, maybe that’s the back story?), and made a full confession—which must have taken less than a minute. He was charged with simple assault and fourth-degree criminal mischief, a serious misdemeanor. Not something you want on your Facebook page…

You Harass Me, I Harass You? As for this poor guy – asleep at home – middle of the night – and his doorbell rings. Gets up to see what’s what. Nothing. Goes back to bed. The doorbell rings again. He gets up again. You know the story. Now how long this went on for I don’t know, but certainly a few times. And, predictably and justifiably, Mr. Van Plew, who was being ‘pranked’ got a little fed up.

So he went outside and chased the 14-year old genius and his two pals off his property and held them until the police arrived. Problem was poor old Mr. Van Plew—who’s really only 37 years old—reportedly tackled one of the little monsters just beyond his property line. So the police charged him with harassment. Who thought that one up?

So, Mr. Van Plew is now facing criminal charges.

What the heck was he supposed to do? At least he didn’t do something more serious—and I can think of all sorts of things—which could have had more severe consequences for the kids, and I’m presuming would have been his legal right if he and they were on his property? Well, maybe he can plead he wasn’t in his right mind due to sleep deprivation…

Tags: Tortelicious

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