iPhone as Deadly Weapon? Mmmaybe Not

December 29th, 2010. By LucyC

Don’t Drive Up, Drive Right Thru the ATM! Here’s an alternate approach to breaking the bank. A man in Jacksonville, FL, decided to hit the ATM before Christmas…using his bulldozer. That would have attracted attention, no doubt. And of course he got caught—but not without putting up a fight. 

Thirty-one year old Robert Anderson used his frontloader to rip open a VyStar ATM near Marietta, and he was successful in getting some cash. However, during his getaway he allegedly tried to run over a police officer. A move not recommended, for a number of reasons. The police claim that Anderson didn’t stop when they tried to pull him over. Instead, he put the bulldozer in reverse and drove toward one of the officers. Problem solving is obviously not this guy’s strong suit. 

In any event, he was caught, and is now being held in jail. He is being held on grand theft charges having made off with an unspecified amount—something between $20,000 and $100,000. His wife misses him very much and wishes he was home for Christmas—so their children can spend Christmas with him. Well, they can always visit him. 

Armed with a Deadly iPhone? Does your iPhone have the restaurant robbery app? This guy’s does. Twenty-year old Jerome Taylor, from New London, CT, tried to rob a Northern Indian restaurant the Wednesday before Christmas, but rethought that plan on the fly, when the kitchen staff grabbed some rather serious knives to defend themselves. 

Taylor reportedly entered the kitchen wearing a mask, armed with what the cooks thought was a gun and demanded money. The cooks, having faith in their equipment, said—no can do—we’re not handing anything over.

Taylor apparently experienced a bit of an epiphany at this point and apologized, telling the cooks he was only kidding and that he needed money for his child. And he left. Situation over. Ah, no. Not quite. The police caught up with him shortly afterwards, and they say Taylor confessed to having attempted the robbery. Only he didn’t have a gun, he claims. Instead he used his iPhone. I’d sure like to see Steve Jobs sales pitch on that. 

Just Stopping by to say “Happy Hurlidays!” And then there’s the intruder who just wants to use the toilet. Thirty-four year old Lester Bagwell, who was reportedly quite drunk, somehow managed to stumble into a family home in Kokomo, IN,  just before Christmas and, refusing requests to leave, went to the bathroom and threw up in their bathroom. Twice. Nice. He was also arrested.

Should’ve at Least had ’em Delivered… A man in Amherst, MA has been charged with ordering 178 pizzas and not returning to pay for them. Apparently the man was wearing a Bob Dylan backstage pass when he walked into the pizza parlor and ordered the pizzas. (Bob Dylan was performing at the nearby University of Massachusetts.) He said he would be back in a few hours to collect them. Promises, promises.

Well, you know what’s coming—he didn’t show up. The pizzas were worth about $4,000, which his attorney has said he will repay. Or at least try and repay. Apparently, the workers at Antonio’s pizza place stayed until 5:30 am making the pizzas. Ouch.

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Wednesday, December 29th, 2010 at 2:36 pm and is filed under Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.