Looks like a Stuffed Toy Horse, but Maybe it’s a Bomb!

September 14th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.  

Is ToysRUs Next? Ok—I think someone’s been watching a little too much bad TV. A stuffed toy horse that had been abandoned in the school yard of Waterbridge Elementary in Orlando, Florida was blown up by the local bomb squad last week, as no one, apparently, could see any good reason for it being there. (I wonder if they could apply that same logic to Disneyworld…)

The toy had a saddle and ribbons for reins, which may contributed to its being labeled a ‘suspicious device’. Who knows.  But the toy’s appearance prompted a fully kitted-out bomb squad to descend on the school, sending the students home, and the school into ‘lockdown’.  It even made the local TV station’s evening news. Thank god no one tried to take the horse through security at an airport…

Don’t believe me? You can watch it the whole sorry affair in the video above…

Bongo Jesus goes Beserk. It must be something in the water…but Bongo Jesus was clearly not feeling the love, or anything close from the sounds of it, when a ‘friend’—now former friend—shared some criticism over BJ’s guitar playing.

Brandin Hochstrasser, the 31-year old Wisconsin street musician also known as “Bongo Jesus” apparently went a bit mad when an unarmed, 54-year old man decided to offer some advice on Bongo’s guitar playing. Not only did BJ fly into a rage and begin hitting the older man over the head with his guitar, but he also went for a college student who made the mistake of standing close by.

When the police showed up even they had trouble calming this guy down, and in the end they tasered him. Nice.

So Bongo Jesus is now spreading the gospel in jail, where he remains on charges of battery, battery to a police officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. Be interesting to hear his defense.

But was it the Special Edition Oreck XL Platinum Power? Ok—I think this guy wins an award for one of the stupidest attempts at foreplay in modern times. In fact, it was so stupid his wife tried to strangle him…

A woman in the Ukraine was cleaning her house—vacuuming—hey, we all know what a turn on that can be—when her husband began ‘pestering’—that was the term used—for sex. 

She apparently got so pissed off that she took the power cord and tried to strangle him with it.

Where do you start?

I’ll bet if he had offered to take over the vacuuming—you know—struck a little deal—he would have had a much better result.

Better not be Coming to a Theatre Near You. And finally, a woman in Xian, China is suing the local theatre for playing too many commercials before they show the movie, a full 20 minutes of ads in fact. Here! Here! I have no idea which theatre company she’s suing but the charge could be levelled at all of them, as far as I’m concerned.

In any event, she’s not suing for money, she simply wants to make the point that enough is enough. So she’s seeking the equivalent of $5.20 for the cost of her ticket, and 14 cents in damages.

Tags: Tortelicious

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