Outrage! Why Wasn’t Diego in a Car Seat? No Diego, Don’t Go!

December 14th, 2010. By LucyC

This week it’s all about getting creative. 

Diego’s Riding Shotgun. Take this fellow for instance. Knowing he was going to be late for work—and who needs that stress in this economy—he decided to take “Go, Diego, Go!” to a whole new level.

He grabbed his child’s Diego doll, strapped it in to the passenger seat, and headed off down the highway—in the HOV lane.

As you can imagine, Diego was a model passenger, sitting quietly with seat belt buckled, no texting, no emails, no spilled coffee, last minute make-up applications, or attention deficit radio station issues. The ideal travel companion, I would have said.

For those of us who lack an in-depth knowledge of children’s TV, “Go, Diego, Go!” is a tot’s cartoon series and subsequent marketing empire, which includes the doll Diego, obviously. Diego is a spin-off of Dora the Explorer. Additional genealogy can be found at Wikipedia.

But Deigo, it seems, was a little too well behaved on the ride into work. His calm composure and enormous, unblinking eyes gave the Washington state trooper laying in wait on the Interstate 405 onramp, reason to suspect that either something very naughty was going on under the dashboard, or, well, it might be not be human (which speaks volumes about human behavior).

Of course, state troopers are savvy to the fact that people do use the high occupancy lane with only one person in the car—or their children’s dolls in the passenger seat, or maybe even a blow-up doll. So, when Daddy was pulled over, he confessed everything: the truth is always best in these types of situations. He was cited for the HOV lane violation, which no doubt made him late for work after all. 

You know, I think this story might make a good” Go, Diego, Go!” episode: “Diego Goes to Work.” 

Rule #1: Don’t Jilt a Lawyer. Following on from monster brides and bridezillas—there’s now a whole new category—and it doesn’t require a wedding.

Thirty-two year old Chicago resident Dominique Buttitta had her wedding stopped just four days before the scheduled event. By whom, you ask? By her would-be husband, thirty-one year old Vito Salerno, whose cold feet clearly got the better of him. 

Clearly, he didn’t handle the scenario well because Dominique, who also happens to be a lawyer, is suing him for $95,000. Apparently she stated she wants him to hand over the money she lost due to the sudden cancellation. Well. Fair enough. And on the bright side, a divorce could cost more. 

Creative Healthcare Coverage. Necessity is the mother of invention indeed. A terminally ill man in San Diego showed, I think, remarkable creativity in the face of desperation, when he rolled his wheelchair into a San Diego bank and attempted a bank robbery with a replica BB gun. No surprise he was caught.

Seventy-one year old Peter Lawrence, told the court that he felt hopeless having been diagnosed with numerous medical problems, and so decided to rob Chase bank of more than $2,000. His lawyer, Kenneth Kaminiski, said his client wanted to get caught so he wouldn’t have to live on the streets. That’s some choice. 

Well, there’s little chance he’ll end up on the streets now, as Judge Jeffrey Fraser sentenced Lawrence to 21 years in prison so, theoretically, he would get out around 90—when “he would no longer be a threat to the public.”

Apparently, the prosecutors said Lawrence was a danger because he could use a real weapon in the future. Well, I’ll certainly rest easier tonight. 

Late Train = Loss = Liability…Only in France. Ok—this is just silly. A French rail passenger who claimed he suffered from anxiety after missing his train—that’s a scheduled train with the national railway—sued the national railway—which presumably is government owned and run—and won. Remy Rouquette was awarded $661 in damages, as well as court fees for his troubles. Unbelievable. 

The reason for the delay? A track switch mistake. It delayed his train, forcing him to miss a connection. Just a day in the life for your average NYC straphanger, no? God help him if he ever decides to fly.

Tags: Tortelicious

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