Tortelicious: Don’t Piss Off Major League Eating

July 6th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.

You need a contract for that dog! This is just too bizarre. Takeru Kobayashi, a Japanese eating champion (who knew there was such a thing?) was arrested at a July Fourth hot dog-eating contest this weekend, because, if I’m getting this right, of a contract dispute. 

It seems that Kobayashi had refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating, which apparently is similar to the NFL.  According to a report by AP, Kobayashi refused to sign the contract because he “wanted to be free to enter contests sanctioned by other groups.” (btw, that’s Kobayashi, and his arch-rival Joey Chestnut, downing some shrimp wonton in Singapore recently—hey, they get around).

OK—how on earth do people get involved in this stuff? I don’t remember hearing anything about career options associated with overeating when I was in high school, which admittedly was some time ago. But still.

Kobayashi’s crime, apparently, involved jumping on stage (wearing a T-shirt which said “Free Kobi” (is there a Disney picture in his future?) at the annual Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, and then diving into some serious power eating. But because hadn’t signed the contract he was banned from the contest.

Oh, by the way—first prize has a purse of $20,000.

I don’t know what to say.

AP, in the tradition of best investigative journalism, interviewed Kobayahsi: “I was there as a spectator, just to cheer on my buddies,” he said through an interpreter. Fans chanted for him, and “in the heat of it, I jumped on the stage, hoping they would let me eat.”

Kobayashi’s attorney said his client was waved up onstage after spectators began chanting “Let him eat!” So up on stage he went, only to be arrested shortly thereafter by police.

He was charged with obstruction of governmental administration, resisting arrest, trespassing and disorderly conduct and spent the night in jail. Are you kidding? And the amount of tax dollars spent on this was?

You know there is no little irony here, given that it was the 4^th of July, an American celebration of independence which at the time was in fact breaking the law—really—let’s face it—the ruling Brits with their taxes and laws got turfed. So one could ask—wasn’t Kobayashi just demonstrating the good old fashioned American Spirit—albeit in his own way?

Just for the record, the winner of the contest was, indeed, Kobayashi’s rival, Joey “Jaws” Chestnut of San Jose, CA, who ate 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. He won the $20k and a mustard yellow champion’s belt. Kobayashi won the contest in 2009, by eating 64 hotdogs.

Ok—I’m off to the fridge.

Maybe he was Having some Sloe Comfortable ones?… In the theme of naked news stories—some poor homeowner in San Diego woke up to find a naked man sleeping on his sofa. And not the door prize he was hoping for, I’ll bet.

It turns out the guy on the couch had been out the night before, drinking, now there’s a surprise, and had wandered into this fellow’s house believing he had made it safely home. Apparently he had taken his clothes off outside the house, and let himself in through the unlocked front door.

You know this just proves the theory that most men really don’t get interior decor. I mean what self-respecting woman would not notice that the space was decorated differently? No matter how drunk. I’m even willing to bet that some of us would start rearranging the furniture…

Anyway, back to the story. The homeowner called the police, as one does in this type of situation, but he didn’t press charges. The stranger apparently lived 20 miles away—no small hike after a few highballs. As he was sober by the time the police arrived, he was released to find his own way home. Now there’s a wise decision.

Did he Think it was a Wild Turkey in the Road? And finally, I guess this guy had had it. A former priest out of Annandale, VA who reportedly specialized in anger management counselling, was arrested for pulling a gun on two US Marshalls, because he thought they were standing in the middle of the road—whatever that means.

Probably not the best problem-solving device he could have used. But he did give the two officers fair warning—he blew his horn as he drove past them. But then it all went horribly wrong. The priest thought one of the Marshalls made an obscene gesture at him. That’s when the gun came out.

The priest got a year in jail and will undergo—you guessed it—anger management. Did anyone think to check his eyesight?

Tags: Tortelicious

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