Tortelicious: How to Rack up a $1 Million Speeding Ticket

August 17th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them.  

Don’t get caught speeding in Switzerland! A Swedish millionaire has just done his bit to increase the Swiss GDP. He took his Mercedes-Benz Gullwing super car for a bit a ride—on the highway—and ended up with a $1 million speeding ticket.

He was clocked driving the $250,000 vehicle at 180 miles per hour—so fast that he got by two traffic cameras (couldn’t have been Swiss technology) because the sensors could only register speeds of up to 125 mph—first gear for this guy.

Apparently the ticket is the largest in Swiss history. Why so high? Traffic fines in the country that invented the cuckoo clock are based on a violator’s net worth, which has been somewhat reduced by this little joyride…I wonder how he explained that to his wife… 

No, That’s not what “Ride Free” Really Means… Continuing on with the theme of speed—a motorcyclist in Ontario, Canada attracted a little police attention of his own this week, for speeding without wearing any trousers, or underwear. This guy has balls, evidently.

Apparently he was only wearing a t-shirt. “He had no pants, no underwear,” Acting Staff Sgt. David Hennick told United Press, and no helmet. No helmet? What was he thinking?

Needless to say, a high-speed chase was involved. Trouble was, Easy Rider, as I shall refer to him, got a little excited and lost control of his bike. Not hard to imagine. Anyway, he fell off his bike, got back up on his bike, then tried to outrun the police. Didn’t work. Must have had trouble concentrating. But not one to give up so easily, he tried to get away on foot, but, alas, didn’t make it. 

He is now facing charges for various infractions. The police said they suspect alcohol was a factor. You think?

Should’ve Just Gone with the Hallmark Card…This guy could have used a getaway car, or bike, or better yet—a plan. He was caught re-burglarizing (not sure if that’s a word, but it does appear to be an action) a home in Sarasota, Florida that he had robbed three years earlier.

When he was caught he told the police that he’d recently gotten out of jail and had wanted to leave a thank-you note “because I’m the guy who burglarized this place.” Why thank-you? Wouldn’t an apology be more to the point?

Apparently not, in fact thank-you was likely a Freudian slip—because the police found a load of jewelry on him—stuff he’d just collected.

There ought to be a club for these guys…

Tags: Tortelicious

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