Brandi (Such a Fine Girl) and Taser the Tater Dude…It’s Tortelicious

May 25th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news—and there’s certainly no shortage of them. 

Where did she hide the bottle? A woman from Nevada has been accused of stealing a bottle of wine from a store while she was topless and intoxicated. Ok, how does this stuff happen?

Brandi Smith, (interesting choice of name—and makes me recall Looking Glass’ 1972 classic, though I’m sure their “Brandy” was a bit more of an inspiration)—anyway, Brandi, who is 41-years old—we’ll come back to that—got herself arrested for this little act of shoplifting. That’s Brandi over there at right. Believing she was on a roll, she drove to a fast food restaurant nearby to get a little something to go with the plonk, only to be apprehended by an off duty sheriff. Poor guy. I wonder if they were at Wendy’s? (nope, actually the BK lounge—but read on for some excitement at Wendy’s)

You know, at the very least topless robbery takes guts—and not a little liquid inspiration—coz 41 ain’t 21 (no matter how confident you are). Turns out a preliminary test revealed a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, nearly twice the legal limit—for driving—not stripping.

The bottle of wine cost $20 retail, plus $5000 for bail. Brandi’s been charged with felony drunken driving (not her first offense here), burglary, and indecent exposure. Thank you.

“I said hold the f*&^*&% fries!” A woman in Daytona Beach, Florida went postal—or would that be fried (?)—at a local Wendy’s recently. In any event, she lost the plot with a member of staff who was taking her order at the drive-thru. Hey, we all know how conducive to clarity those “place your order” machines are.

Anyway—back to the story—Miss Melanese Asia Reid apparently got into a heated discussion with the employee (btw, no word on just what exactly the problem was), got out of her car—with her friend, Katrina Mari-Alyce Bryant, as back-up, and went into the store brandishing her very own stun gun. In pink. Who knew? (I wonder if it plays tunes…)

According to an account by the Associated Press, witnesses said Miss Melanese chased the employee while her friend cheered her on. It wasn’t until the manager threatened to call the police that the two women left the premises.

But these two apparently weren’t convinced they’d gotten their point across, so they called the store to complain about the service. Are you kidding?

Not surprisingly, the police were able to track down Thelma and Louise, and they are now facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Good theatre…However, I’m not sure I’d be going back any time soon.

Doing the right thing? A detective in Nevada, who also serves as a spokesman for a county sheriff’s office in Las Vegas, was arrested recently for burglary and assault to try to harass candidates for public office—namely DA Bob Beckett. For a bit of background here, Beckett just happens to have been arrested recently on over 40 counts—including things like embezzlement. And the detective helped make that arrest. Still following?

Now, wanting to do the right thing, the detective apparently investigated himself and turned himself in. Yes, you read that correctly. David Boruchowitz turned himself in to the county jail, where he was arrested then released. Can this get any sillier?

Yes! He put out a press release on his own arrest complete with his booking photo.

Boruchowitz apparently said in his release that his duties include investigating and arresting people who commit crimes, “no matter who they may be.” He claims that he investigated his own case honestly and within state laws.

Does he have a witness who could attest to that—or would he be doing that job as well?

PS—the charges against Boruchowitz, initially filed by Beckett, have since been dismissed…and records expunged. Oh, but then just nine hours later, the charges that were dropped were then re-filed. By Beckett. Again.

Perhaps it’s not as crazy as it sounds (or maybe it is)—it has to do with some disagreement over who has the authority to assign a special prosecutor to file the complaint against Boruchowitz—and, on the flip side, it’s the first time in Nevada history that a DA has been arrested while in office…

Well, it is Vegas.

Tags: Tortelicious

This was posted on Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 at 11:15 am and is filed under Emerging Issues, Totally Tortelicious . Feel free to respond, or trackback. Read our comments policy.