Totally Tortelicious: 3 Years of Going Bananas…and then some

February 24th, 2010. By LucyC

Welcome to Totally Tortelicious—a review of some of the more bizarre legal stories making news. Goodness knows there’s no shortage of them.  

Neighbors goin’ Bananas… Brighton, UK: Amanda Millard was recently convicted, by UK magistrates, of breaching a noise abatement notice, for playing the theme from the cartoon series the Banana Splits so loudly it could be heard a block away. And, she did this for three—yes three—years. Ohmygod. Pass the sedatives. Have you heard the theme from the Banana Splits? Here’s your chance…

The neighbors had complained to the appropriate authorities, which I feel, showed remarkable restraint on their part. (The more appealing options are all illegal). And Millard was subsequently warned by letter to keep it down. She gave into silence for a little while, but soon returned to her bad habits. This time, however, she varied the repertoire slightly by adding The Animals’ “House of the Rising Sun” and Bob Marley’s “Buffalo Soldier”—all played at full volume of course. 

In her defense, she reportedly argued that her stereo wasn’t of good enough quality to generate the kind of ‘loud’ noise the neighbors were complaining of. God only knows what she would have done with some Bang and Olufsen equipment… 

I’ll Huff and I’ll Puff and I’ll Blow my own damn house down… Moscow, Ohio: OK, who hasn’t had, in their darkest hour, fantasies of getting even with ‘the bank’. Let’s face it, as corporate citizens go, they can hardly be congratulated for their honesty, integrity or understanding, despite their claims to the contrary. One poor guy in Ohio decided that he had simply had enough, and he was going to give as good as he got. 

Terry Hoskins’ bank was going to foreclose on his property, so he made good on this threat to tear down his house. Apparently, the bank refused his offer of $170,000 against his debt of $350,000: bank officials said they could make more money from a foreclosure sale, hence the reason they turned down the cash. 

Hoskins’ is quoted in a media report as saying “When I see I owe $160,000 on a home valued at $350,000, and someone decides they want to take it—no, I wasn’t going to stand for that, so I took it down.”

It took him two weeks to raze his home, which he built decades ago. He’s considering doing the same thing to his business. Unfortunately, this will likely ruin his credit rating as well…

Floored ’em with his Dancing… Elma, NY: Where do you start with this one? An 18-year old who got a little too loaded and thought he’d wow the crowd with his break dancing, is facing a felony count of criminal mischief and a misdemeanor count of criminal trespass, after inflicting $3,000 worth of damage to the homeowners’ floors. 

Apparently Ryan Baczkiewicz had a major piece of diamond bling for a belt buckle. Rather than making a favorable impression on the girls, all he managed to do during his repeated (and rather bad) attempts at doing the shimmy on the floor, was make a lasting impression on the hardwood. 

What’s the betting his belt buckle is worth more than the flooring…? 

Tags: Tortelicious

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