Chantix Suicide: "Something Demanded I Do It"

Three Rivers, MIWhen Melinda F. started reading other people's stories about Chantix side effects, she started to cry. That was because she had not realized that her use of Chantix may have caused her suicide attempt in November, 2007. Melinda says that she had never experienced anything like the depression she went through while taking Chantix.

"I started [Chantix] in mid-August of 2007 and I quit smoking in September or October," Melinda says. "It was probably about 30 days in and I started to get this thought in my head. It was the exact same thought every night, almost as if something was ordering me to go into the kitchen, get a knife and cut my wrists. Every night it was the same thing: it told me what I had to do and how to do it.

"I called the suicide hotline because my son was in trouble at the time, so I thought I was depressed about that. I would tell people about the thoughts, but they all thought I was depressed. I would be home alone when I had the thoughts so I would go online and type to other people about it, but everyone thought it was depression.

"On November 22, 2007, after weeks with the thoughts, I went into my kitchen, grabbed my butcher's knife and cut my wrists open. The cuts were very deep. I have 4 scars on my wrists that I'm ashamed of; I don't know how I missed my arteries, because the cuts were very deep, but luckily I survived."

Melinda says that her boyfriend found her and she was taken to the hospital. She required 7 large stitches in 1 wrist and 5 large stitches in the other.

"I stopped all my medications the next day because I didn't know what caused me to do that," Melinda says. "It was very confusing. I'd never had thoughts that were so strong that I couldn't control them.

"There were other things, too. My boyfriend bought me a present for my birthday and I was depressed about it because the present was not all that good. My son was going to jail and I just thought I was depressed but I would get through it. But there was still something telling me I needed to kill myself.

"The next day [after the suicide attempt] I kept thinking that I had done it wrong and needed to try again. I even said that in front of my son. It was a very weird thing. I never had anything like that. Even on the days that I wasn't depressed, I still had the same thought at the same time every night.

"Because of the thoughts, I went to a psychiatrist and was put on Wellbutrin. A week later I cut my wrists and I never related the incident back to the Chantix. Then, I saw a commercial about Chantix and suicidal thoughts. I got goosebumps; I was almost in tears reading other people's stories.

"I was never told about the side effects; if I knew, I wouldn't have taken the Chantix. It was like I wouldn't be happy until I cut my wrists, it was like something was demanding me to do it. But a couple of days after stopping the medication, I never had that thought again. Now, I'm scared of taking any medications because the side effects scare me to death. I don't like taking anything.

"I did go in and get another refill for Chantix because I wanted to quit smoking, after I cut my wrists. But I was too scared to take it. It seems strange that something to help you quit smoking would have such side effects.

"If people are taking Chantix and they have thoughts about suicide, they need to stop taking it as soon as possible."